Like all webpages, I get plenty of Spam. I believe I’ve already filtered out around 800 spam comments (despite only being up and running for a few months), and nearly 99% of all comments on The Great and Powerful Henceblog are Spam comments. As such, every morning I go through my trash folder to make sure every comment is Spam and not an offer to give me 80,000 diamonds. Here are some of my favorite Spams I’ve come across, some are direct quotes, some summaries, some reactions. Enjoy?
-One Spam thought that I could really spice up my page layout by adding in some stock pictures from a funeral home.
-One simply told of a person who was trained in martial arts by David Carradine while simultaneously studying with the Marx Brothers and loving country music.
– “Sex Fuck Francais Cul”
-The middle-aged aunt said: “I this is not a clue? Is it right? Will give me to write a letter of praise what? ”
-Here’s a nice, long conspiracy spam poem:
“And this spake he because nervous stammer especially powerful, a few words say so loud, I heard worse, busy covering his mouth. Let him not excited, at the same time ears side reaction, but already late, there suddenly fell silent, apparently has been found near the same.
King Boss see my face uncertain, said to me: ‘You do these things, sooner or later, you and I said, I have some not know what in the bamboo slips, you know what? Summer to business history how long we all understand, why so long, do you know why? Because of the lack of historical records! My several bamboo slips, the Western Han Dynasty, as ancient scientists wrote, he said that summer to providers, there may well be a dynasty, but do not know why, no records, you see such an important thing in history, can be completely disappear, a strange nation disappeared again what’s strange?’ Then he patted me, so I don’t want to have a look, then, the amber resin cocoon is… what?
We carried the sun and go for about an hour, the day is getting dark, suddenly found in front of a rhizotomist wooden shack. The old itch pushed open the door and went inside, turned to me and said: ‘Look, here’s hearth, this evening we can eat hot’.
He said was true; I was listening to a heartbeat but, on second thought, he is armed with weapons. What also to find me? It is not paved stalls let people to make money? There must be a conspiracy: they wander about heart is too deep, you look cool touts followed us here is a flatter face, find opportunity soon brought him turn from a guest into a host, we are not against, compared to them, we are really too tender, they find me, there must be something on purpose.
I think for a minute, don’t know why I feel not good. King Boss seemed to have a well-thought-out plan, the person familiar with all kinds of strange things, and he already knows what’s under, and are going to get. Think about the old itch said things to me, not by also can not be reconciled thus fell into his hands, one hand on the busy short handle knife, followed him slide down.
I lost the support, all the weight back to my hand suddenly did not catch on, straight fall more than one meter, hold a prominent bronze busy branches to stop body, looked up, he saw the monster ‘s face was completely broken apart into a small piece of a small piece of white debris, like Naipi same began to fall off.
I suddenly wake up, terrified look on his face, and said: ‘You mean, on top of the coffin chamber, once had a corpse? So long the coffin of banyan tree root, it cannot wanton growth?’
According to the principle, to see the statue’s face is not difficult, but we are up to look, no matter where you go, because of the angle of the relation is still not clear, my heart troubles for the statue of the ominous feeling more and more strong.
This time, causing the trouble head Zhang Qiling was deeply furrowed brow, he looks better than anyone: had seen carefully the ancient stone stone carving”.
This story was apparently meant to sell shoes.
-One spammer thought it apt to tell me about his great vest in the most perfect shade of bubblegum. It’s an “airy cropped pullover” that makes a laid-back look.
-I was finally noticed by the spam site “Bed Bug Symptoms”, which thanked me for writing about such valuable information.
-Jones Sabo the Police Policeman with Regard to the Hit told me that it’s time to make some plans for the future and be happy.
-A Christian shoes salesman was given a free lunch just for reading my blog.
-I’m pretty sure someone told me how to smuggle goods into Tokyo. Apparently, it all depends on the shape of the seals you use in your forms. The Tokyo government only looks at documents with a square shape (at least I think, this was all written in Japanese, so I’m depending on Google Translate to figure this out).
-This isn’t quite a haiku, but I feel like it’s the closest thing a Spammer comes to making poetry:
At best you are able to Twitter away
Being a songbird. To plan an itinerary for this may
Well lead to late actions. Of these, the red ones are used in night hours as is also not afflicted with other rays
Of light within the surrounding areas.
– My location is valuable to someone? My location? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU SELLING BAGS?
– “Thank you so much for all of your kindness and great support! Please bear with me patiently as I’m trying my very best in getting caught up in featuring Each one of You INDIVIDUALLY along with your fabulous lenses. I also wish to include each one of you in my quizzes just like what I’ve done with other other Squid Angels above. Pardon me for being so behind in doing so. With all my heart, thank you very much for taking my quizzes! On behalf of all the JENNIFERS in Hollywood and all over the world, Thanks for staying fabulous just the way you are! God bless you all!!!”
– People have searched a long time to get the information in my Main Page, so mainly that this is The Great and Powerful Henceblog.
– One Spammer was very honest to point out that I’m really whiny and I could easily fix all of my problems if I weren’t so busy looking for attention. It really is good advice.
– This is a comment from “Hair Chalk”: “Great paintings! That is the type of information that should be shared around the net. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and discuss with my website . Thank you =)”. You’re very Welcome, Hair, and it is a disgrace. I’ll certainly come over to discuss it at your website: Which looks to be literally about Hair chalk. That’s… you’re a strange one, Hair, a very strange one. Although, you also apparently had troubles viewing pictures. Hair Chalk: Are you a regular reader?
-Christian clothing is becoming more popular for “… boys that often have a touch of the demon in them”. That… that is some news.