Tag Archives: Baked Goods

D for Durashadu, E for Epikris, and F for Forsberg

We’ve got a trio of mountain stories this month!  Starting with the first entry about one of the Gods of the Golden Ice-Cream city of Zard: A lobster that has diamond claws and made the moon.

D for Durashadu

Next up is the story about a city that was swallowed by a mountain, and more proof of Zeus being a complete jerk.

E for Epikris

Finally a tall tale about Ollie Forsberg, who met Zebulon Pike, the Unsinkable Molly Brown, and was even had a buddy cop relationship with Buffalo Bill.

F for Forsberg

100 Comic Book Items

With Marvel and DC Comics dominating our airwaves, I’m sure we’re all a bit worried: What if we ever run out of comics to adapt, re-adapt, de-adapt, and dark reboot?  What would happen to cinema and TV?  Will we be launched into a dark age where we’re stuck only adapting, re-adapting, de-adapting, and dark rebooting paperback novels?  NONSENSE!

Don’t worry, citizens of Earth, because I’ve included below a list of 100 Character, organizations, and other artifacts from comic book universes that are now free for anyone to adapt.  Please. Go ahead, Marvel and DC, begin fighting over these character rights.  I’ll be anxiously waiting by my phone.

  1. The Luminaut: Controller of light
  2. The Rulemaker, Manipulative and vengeful.
  3. Patrick Stonewall, P.I
  4. Mittens: The Super-strong
  5. The Blank Slate, bulletproof and unfeeling
  6. Mute: The Sound-eater.
  7. Uriel, rewarder and destroyer.
  8. Comm. William Tsang: Steven Seagal with an army.
  9. Siemen: The One with the Silicon Arm
  10. The Agromancer: Diviner of Grass and Weeds
  11. The Cockroach, able to multiply ad infinitum.
  12. Brightside: The Eternal Optimist.
  13. Oddball, bringer of chaos.
  14. Sturm: Bringer of irrationality.
  15. Drang: Revealer of fear.
  16. Monofilament: Casts invisible fishing lines.
  17. Catalyst, amplifying those around him.
  18. Gorbachev!: Mikhail Gorbachev in a cape and mask.
  19. Davy Weitz, showman and magician.
  20. C.L.O.W.N: Central Legislature for the Oligarchy of Western Nebraska
  21. Clay Mason: Able to conjure up animated beings of clay.
  22. Pulvis: Creator of Dust
  23. B.R.I.P,  Bio-Robotic Information Processor; Human Brain robotic calculations.
  24. Flummox: She was hit in the head with a magical comet and now her power is to be really confusing.
  25. The Felimancer: They talk to cats.  The cats probably understand, but they don’t always obey because they’re cats.  Mostly, it’s just a person with a lot of cats. A whole lot of cats.
  26. T.E.R.N: Tactical Enforcement of Retro-Nihilism
  27. Derrick Matts: He has no powers of his own, but he knows exactly how everyone else should use their superpowers.
  28. The Caped Kennedy: A Kennedy who wears a JFK mask and a t-shirt that reads “Kiss me, I’m a Kennedy”. Oh, and they can also shoot lasers out of their eyes. To this day no one knows the true identity of the Caped Kennedy, nor are they sure if he’s even a Kennedy.
  29. Ignia, the fireball.
  30. The Corrugator: She creates cardboard boxes… WITH HER MIND.
  31. Breakdown, He will make you fail.
  32. G.E.C.K.O : Ghost Eating Canine Knights of Orlando.
  33. The Retina Ruiner: Able to telepathically make any living being confused about the color of the sun.
  34. The Gravy Image: A Golden gravy boat which gives the wielder the power to create and manipulate gravy.
  35. Ron Iver: Able to conjure anything he has an ironic t-shirt of.
  36. The Baker’s Dozen: An Evil team of 13 evil bread-themed villains out to destroy the world.
  37. Tantrum, if you don’t follow the make-believe game you are doomed.
  38. The Stare: Able to make situations really uncomfortable, really fast.
  39. Francis Gary Powers: He can transform into an airplane.
  40. The Candlestick Maker: They make candlesticks… WITH THEIR MIND.
  41. The Butcher: master of knives who’ll slice you up along all of your best cuts, and measure them out per pound in a matter of seconds.
  42. The Baker, Head of The Baker’s Dozen
  43. R.E.N.T: Realtors for the Enrichment of Non-urban Tenements.
  44. Bad-guette, the Baguette villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  45. Signal: They can control traffic lights… WITH THEIR MIND
  46. The Coin of Buffett: Replicates any currency to make you the richest person until all of this extra money destroys the economy (fun fact, it’s what happened in Greece!).
  47. Die-ye, The Rye bread villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  48. Dr. Hissinger: Henry Kissinger has snake powers!
  49. Rockhead: They have a rock for a head.
  50. The Third Degree: They sweat acid, and so they’re constantly suffering third degree chemical burns.
  51. The Crimson Restraining Order: They can teleport an object back 500 feet.
  52. Det. Nicholson: He knows everything about the DC Comics Universe. EVERYTHING.
  53. Pain-tzle Roll, The Pretzel villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  54. S.Q.U.A.R.E: Semi-Quintessential Union of Arch-nemeses, Rogues, and Enemies.
  55. The Aquatic Avenger: Shoots water out of their eyes, rides on the back of a whale, and carries a magical trident which gives them power over anything having to do with saltwater (including taffy!).
  56. The Dark Tarsier: He witnessed his parents shot when he was only a child, and since then decided to watch over the city taking on the guise of his greatest fear: The Tarsier.
  57. Gati Takkara, Destroyer of Suspension: They make speed bumps… WITH THEIR MIND.
  58. Ronald Ray-Gun: The Gipper turned in his cowboy hat for a space-laser.  Now he protects the Economy with it.
  59. Kill-batta, The Ciabatta villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  60. The Omnipresent Duck: A Duck that is everywhere, throughout all times. The moment you turn to look at it, though, it is behind you while also being in front of you. It remains, however, a common duck.
  61. Punch-zki, The Paczki villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  62. Lady Lukewarm: Able to manipulate microwaves to slowly heat things over time.
  63. The Pudding: The Proof is in the Pudding, and they ARE the pudding.
  64. Ultra 64: Has 64 robots that carry out Ultra’s commands which he issues using an N64 controller (the joystick moves the robots, the D-pad changes the camera view, you press “A” to jump, “Z” does a barrel roll, etc.).  The robots can come in 23 color variations, from Gray to Atomic Purple.
  65. Mr. Specific: He can create a concussive blast that can level a city by clapping so long as it is Tuesday past 3:34 pm and before 5:56pm, he can stand in the sun for 48 seconds (no more, no less), and it’s above 50 degrees Fahrenheit and below 82 degrees Fahrenheit.  Also, seven seconds before he claps he has so say the words “Clappy Clappy clap-cap”.
  66. The Stereotypist: Able to reduce people to broad caricatures.
  67. Glower-dough, The Sourdough villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  68. Leonid Brrrrezhnev: An experiment gone awry in Siberia gave him ice powers.
  69. A.B.S.E.N.T : Agency for the Betterment of Solvency in the Event of New Threats
  70. Hello, My Name is: They make name-tags… WITH THEIR MIND.
  71. Hell-llah, The Challah villain of the Baker’s Dozen
  72. Captain Respirator: Creates a mighty gale with every exhale.
  73. Cruel-le, The Boule villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  74. Ore-gan Grinder: Can create large deposits of metals in the blink of an eye.
  75. Jackson: He can conform to female gender norms in the blink of an eye.
  76. Sophia: She can conform to male gender norms in the blink of an eye.
  77. The Wasfinder: He can make ten year old maps… WITH HIS MIND.
  78. James Carter, “The Defuser”: has the power of 1000 negotiators and can stop bombs with his mind.
  79. Woe-caccia, The Focaccia villain of The Baker’s Dozen.
  80. The Blue Bureaucrat: Able to manipulate paperwork, but don’t worry they use their powers… FOR GOOD!
  81. The Pearl of Galuth-Galahn: The Wielder of the Pearl is able to make smaller, plastic copies of the Pearl of Galuth-Galahn.
  82. James Smith: Able to conjure up anything he can think of, but unfortunately has a really terrible imagination.
  83. The Ginger-Blood Man, The Gingerbread villain of The Baker’s Dozen
  84. The Helmet of Iris: Give the wearer the ability to have really pleasant conversations.
  85. Red Tape: The arch-nemesis of the Blue Bureaucrat who uses his paperwork powers FOR EVIL.
  86. Umbrique: The Shadow-mover
  87. F.I.V.E : Four Introverted Vanquishers of Evil.
  88. Stallin’: He was a ruthless dictator, and now he can stop time.
  89. Crazed Doughnut, The Sweeter of the second-in-commands for The Baker’s Dozen
  90. Captain Sandwich: They can make sandwiches… WITH THEIR MIND.
  91. The Gauntlets of Mahortia: The wearer of the Gauntlets knows exactly what to do with their hands.
  92. The Uncomfortable Avenger: Able to make things slightly too hot for comfort.
  93. The Jacket: Able to make the surrounding area cold enough to make you wonder if you should have brought a jacket.
  94. Stick-man: Able to turn into a stick, but not able to turn out of a stick.
  95. Liderc: The Reincarnation of an ancient Hungarian demon-chicken that caused nightmares and illness in its time however was cursed to roam the Earth in numerous human forms until it can successfully move sand with a rope, or it can convince someone to throw a black chicken over the roof of a barn during the moment of the highest sun, or it successfully completes 5008 good deeds with the counter resetting after each bad deed it commits.
  96. The Boots of Kunado: These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they do.
  97. Burnt Toast, The more Savory of the second-in-commands for The Baker’s Dozen.
  98. Nikita “The Cruiser”: The Scarlet Speedster, not only is he super-fast but he’s also the premier of the Soviet Party.
  99. Shakespeare: He can make up words… WITH HIS MIND.
  100. The Listmaker: Can access any information or any power so long as it’s in list form.

100 Bad Restaurants

  1. A restaurant full of screaming monkeys
  2. A restaurant that only serves slabs of concrete
  3. A restaurant that leaves you handcuffed to a radiator for your entire meal.
  4. A restaurant that charges everything by the ounce (salt, napkins, plates, electricity, air, etc.)
  5. A restaurant that serves raw chicken
  6. A restaurant that serves food by throwing it in your face
  7. A restaurant full of angry bees
  8. A restaurant where everyone is forced to sing a “happy birthday” song every five minutes.
  9. A restaurant sitting on top of an active volcano
  10. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  11. A restaurant where waiters flip over tables when they’re angry.
  12. A restaurant that insists that everything tastes better with pickled okra.
  13. A restaurant that only exists in restaurant review books.
  14. A restaurant that refuses business to everyone.
  15. A restaurant full of hungry pugs.
  16. A theme restaurant where the theme is “Hurricane Katrina”.
  17. A restaurant that has your waiter sit down and judge you for the entire meal.
  18. A restaurant that takes your wallet at the door and then refuses to give it back.
  19. A restaurant that acts like it doesn’t know what a restaurant is.
  20. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  21. A theme restaurant where the theme is “Racial Stereotypes”.
  22. A restaurant that serves you food on plates made of plutonium.
  23. A restaurant inside of a CDC quarantine zone.
  24. A restaurant that has a gaping abyss in the middle, and when you stare deeply into it it stares also deeply into you. When you fall into the abyss you are never seen again, and the restaurant will only refund the meal but not pay for funerary expenses, as life is all but a meaningless exercise.  (It’s called “Nietzsche’s” It has a bleak atmosphere, small portions, and all meals have to be okayed by the owner’s sister.  It does, however, also have a fantastic cherry pie).
  25. A theme restaurant where the theme is “Killer clowns and harpsichords”.
  26. A beach taco stand that will only throw sand in your face.
  27. A food truck possessed by a serial child-killer who was recently executed and now roams the streets at night and kills people.  The real problem is that it’s a food truck.
  28. A food court restaurant that is an actual courtroom and you have to argue your case to be served food.  If you don’t win your case you can get up to three consecutive life sentences.
  29. A restaurant full of seagulls and Canadian geese.
  30. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  31. An Ice Cream Shop that only serves tuna salad.
  32. A restaurant that takes “home cooked meal” to the extreme and hires actors to play your parents who spend the entire meal arguing with each other and at the end of the meal they tell you they’re getting a divorce.
  33. A restaurant that thinks a salad is a raw head of cabbage.
  34. A restaurant that demands you do all of the cooking for your meal yourself.
  35. A theme restaurant where the theme is “Bad Hospital”.
  36. A restaurant full of pumas.
  37. A restaurant that serves terrible food and when you complain about it insists that you just don’t “get it”.
  38. A restaurant that serves all of its food out of flaming tires.
  39. A restaurant and a tattoo parlor where you can eat a philly cheese steak while getting a tattoo of a philly cheese steak (they only know how to do philly cheese steaks).
  40. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  41. A restaurant that decorates its interior with portraits of creepy little girls who watch you while you eat.
  42. A restaurant where everything is made of plexiglass and astroturf, even the food.
  43. A pizza place that makes its crust out of dead chickadees.
  44. A restaurant with a live mine field inside.
  45. A restaurant where everyone’s name is Tyler and all of the food is Tyler.
  46. A restaurant that decorates its interior with dead alligators with googly eyes.
  47. A theme restaurant where the theme is “Catholic School”
  48. A restaurant full of falcons.
  49. A restaurant where all of the salt has been replaced with Lye.
  50. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  51. A beachside restaurant that the ocean engulffs during high tide.
  52. A hot dog stand that serves batteries instead of hot dogs.
  53. A theme restaurant where the theme is “radio shack”.
  54. A restaurant where every hour minutes the chef runs out of the kitchen and screams “DEAR GOD I’VE KILLED THEM ALL!” before getting dragged to the back by a bunch of men in suits.  The next hour it’s a different chef.
  55. A restaurant that will mail your meal to you in 6 to 8 weeks.
  56. A dinner theater that has a grateful dead concert every night and it takes eight hours to eat one meal (though the longest it’s taken is a week to eat one meal).
  57. An old fashioned 1950’s diner with old fashioned 1950’s racism and sexism.  The worst part is that there’s a minor discrepancy on their jukebox where they have one song that was recorded in 1959 but wasn’t released until 1960. It’s disgusting.
  58. A trendy restaurant that glues beards on to all of their food.
  59. A restaurant full of stink beetles.
  60. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  61. A restaurant that only serves ketchup packets and milk cups.
  62. A fine dining establishment where the owner will dump molten gold on to patrons who aren’t wearing the right shoes.  Who decides what’s the right shoe and the wrong shoe? The owner, of course.
  63. A theme restaurant where the theme is “East Berlin”.
  64. A restaurant full of goats.
  65. A Barbeque restaurant that will slaughter a cow in front of you even if you order salad.
  66. A restaurant where you have sixty seconds to eat your meal.  If you fail, you explode, if you succeed you pay $8.95 and leave a generous tip.
  67. Damocles’: A restaurant where a sword is hanging over every seat by a thread that could snap at any moment.
  68. A restaurant where the waiter orders for you and then gets the order wrong.
  69. A restaurant that has such high turnaround in staff that people aren’t even sure if they work there or not. This include the manager, who may or may not be on their first day.
  70. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  71. A restaurant where everything is painted a neon orange: menus, seats, floors, ceilings, chairs, faces.
  72. A restaurant where you have to eat your meal in front of an upset gorilla.
  73. A restaurant whose menu consists of two items: 1)BACON GREASE and 2) FISH WATER.
  74. A theme restaurant where the theme is “White Snake Concert”.
  75. A restaurant full of deer ticks.
  76. A hot dog stand that will serve Hot. Dogs. Like a Pembroke welsh corgi that’s been in a car for an hour with the windows up.
  77. A seafood restaurant that doesn’t seem to know what a fish is.
  78. A restaurant that is an elaborate death trap that you have to navigate your way through.  They do, however, have the best sopapillas in town.
  79. A fine dining establishment that has all of its signage and menus written in Comic Sans.
  80. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  81. A Twin Peaks themed diner that has terrible cherry pie.
  82. A Steakhouse where all of the meals are named after your childhood pets.
  83. A restaurant full of mirrors, so that no matter where you look you’re forced to watch yourself eat.
  84. A restaurant that has an animatronic rat band sing songs by Andrew lloyd Webber out of key. The worse part is you’re expected to tip the robot band.
  85. A French Bakery that only serves Meat Pudding.
  86. An Irish Pub that only sells macarons.
  87. A restaurant that has only one employee who just wears different hats.  If you bring attention to it you are banned.
  88. A restaurant that insists everything tastes better with grape jelly and Worcestershire sauce.
  89. A restaurant where the only lighting is strobe lighting.
  90. A restaurant that combines all of the above.
  91. A restaurant that will banish you to a cornfield if you don’t tip enough.
  92. A restaurant that lets all of its financial decisions be made by pre-teens.
  93. A sports bar that only plays CNN .
  94. A restaurant full of hungry, sleepy cats.
  95. A restaurant that you have to take a standardized test in order to get in.
  96. A restaurant where the waiters are required to nudge you and ask “Say, you want some steak with that butter?” even if you are not eating steak or using butter.
  97. A restaurant that will constantly judge you on how attractive and hip you are, and if you fail in either one of these criteria then the restaurant has the right to bring you to the back where you will never be seen or heard from again. It’s a Burger place called”Logan’s Buns”.
  98. A piano bar where every 78 minutes the Space Jam theme starts playing and people in Looney Tunes outfits come out and start gyrating their hips in people and stock broker’s food.
  99. An old timey saloon full of memorabilia from the “Terminator” movie series.
  100. A restaurant that combines all of the above, so… Applebees.

HELL-nceforth Productions

Cold sweat drips down your brow, terror creeps in, you lie awake in bed wondering: What if Vvinni Gagnepain’s many famous movies that everybody knows and loves were actually horror movies?  What if, all those years ago, instead of deciding to name this thing “Henceforth” Vvinni decided to make… HELLnceforth Productions?

Beware the Cake

 

Lawn Ornament Demon

WA Zombies

Dark Magics

Small Poster

It Took Me Long Enough

Here’s another piece of Mail Art I sent to my aunt Debbie in Japan.  I believe it was around spooky Halloween times, hence the spooky nature of the card: Skulls, cookies, ghosts.

Skull eats cookies

This was the first piece of MailArt I sent to Debbie, but I think it works.  It acts as a bit of a Frankensteinian creation of words and images, although it does function more as art and less as mail (I think it was a bit greasy because I cooked it, and the actual contents of the letter were rather difficult to read thanks to all of the sewing and re-patching).  I long ago gave up trying to cook my letters (although it was an interesting idea, now I need all the cooking supplies I have), and I haven’t gone back to the patchwork idea (again. it kind of makes the letter unreadable).  But as a first go, and an exploration of Halloween, I think it works. Here ‘s the envelope it was sent in, just for fun:

It's not as spooky.

From the Depths of the Internet: Bacon Pancakes

Technically it’s Bacon Pancakes superimposed on top of that New York song that was popular for a while.  Regardless, I’ve listened to this for about twenty minutes straight (and that’s only in this sitting) and I still can’t for the life of me figure out what the adventure dog is doing.  I also can’t figure out what comes after “New York”. Maybe you can after listening to the entire ten hours.  You’re welcome.

Bacon Pancakes x New York on YouTube

Without the T’s: The Man Who Fell to Earth

“Without the T’s” is my film review for both current theatrical releases and any release on home video that I may see.  I treat these as a way to discuss and understand a film for it’s merits and demerits, but unfortunately since it’s a review I hindered by two main points: A grade and a gimmick.  Therefore, the more I enjoy a film the more of the letter “T” will be included in the write-up of the film, with “lesser” film reviews becoming more and more incomprehensible.

 

What does it mean to be alien? This is the primary question focused on in many films of the sub-genre which I’ll refer to as “Visitor” pictures.  He Man Who Fell o Earh is one such film, and it certainly captures a bizarre alien feeling, puting the viewer directly into the head of its protagonis Thomas Jerome Newton (played by David Bowie).  There are moments where the viewer is thrown into complete visual chaos… no, scratch tha: There are small islands where the viewer is able to find their bearings in time/space/storyline, and then the res of the film is visual chaos.

This isn’t a bad thing, as stated before it helps unite he viewer with what this reptilian space monster must be going through.  Newton was able to get a feeling of what Earth was like through elevision, but watching is never the same as experiencing.  When you’re on Earth, you begin to see all of the mess and wonder hat is human life and tha (presumably) leads to one hell of a trip in sorting everything out (Like the difference between a Noh performance/sword fight and a sex scene) hat no amount of television can help you through.  Much like this, no amount of words can explain the experience of watching The Man Who Fell to Earth, but I hink these wo trailers (the original and he trailer for the 35h anniversary re-release) can help you understand:

The Original 1976 railer for The Man Who Fell to Earth

The Man Who Fell To Earth- Rialto Picures 35th Anniversary Trailer

Some digging into the hisory of the director of this film, Nicolas Roeg, led me to discover hat he began working with cinematography and editing.  Roger Corman’s The Masque of the Red Death and Francois Truffau’s film version of Fahrenheit 451 are among Roeg’s crew work before he began direcing with Performance a film tha stars Mick Jagger and is described from Roeg’s IMdB page as “… multi-layered kaleidoscope of sex, violence, and questions of identiy…”.  I bring this up not to impress my seven readers with my incredibly limited research into the director, bu rather because I feel this gives us an accurate account into how and why something like He Man Who Fell o Earh was created.

This film has a lot of strokes of editorial genius, from the above mentioned cross-cuting of a Noh Performance and a strangely murderous sex scene, and in Newton’s abiliy o transcend the boundaries of time (which is never fully explained, and I for one am happy it isn’t).  The Man Who Fell to Earth doesn’t have a straightforward narrative, insead it focuses on details, flashes of a life: Cookies being flung into he air, the first few interacions Newton has with real-live humans, and the gradual death of Newton’s family on his home planet and exact details of the plot are left for the viewer to fill in. This is admirable, alhough it (along wih the fact hat Bowie’s character never ages) lead to some intense confusion and a need for just a few more islands of calm in the mids of this kaleidoscope especially once we get o the governmen (?) detainmen of Newton and the idea tha he becomes a prisoner and slave to alcoholism (which is a great idea hat doesn’ come across). In fact, scrach the idea that He Man Who Fell o Earh is a kaleidoscope, instead it’s like someone broke open the ‘scope and threw all the gliter into the sky and is now watching as the sparkling dust falls to the ground.

Another demerit to the film (at least in my view, which is by no means the only way of seeing a film) is the performance.  Candy Clark’s performance as Mary-Lou (The woman who Newton loves and who teaches Newton about life and sex and alcohol on Earh) strikes up a delicate but fascinating balance of being too rehearsed and absolutely life-like, and it’s difficult to say which way the scales ulimately fall with her.  However, and especially for being one of the largest selling points of the film even to this day, Bowie’s performance I found to be a bit lacking in dimension. He tries, mind you, and there are moments of the rue heartache and loneliness Newton must feel, but in the end I’m not sure if Bowie had the life experience to show this aspect of Newon’s persona (I feel like modern-day David Bowie could, though, especially given his surprisingly restrained performance as Nikola Tesla).

And so, for reasons of being just a touch too far into freeform erritory and having a lead performance tha seems a bit too rehearsed, my obligaory but arbitrary grade for The Man Who Fell to Earth is as follows:

 A "B+" Grade.

I feel like for all of its faults, this film still holds an imporant role for anyone interesed in the creation and release of not only Science Fiction Cinema, but Cinema and its history as such a bizarre and personalized vision hat unforunately cannot be made and released withou extreme difficulty anymore.  So, The Man Who Fell to Earth is nowhere near perfect and perhaps B+ is too high a grade, but it’s also a great tesamen to giving funding to have pet project released: It’s strange, it’s messy, it’s both beautiful and a touch pretenious, and I think it’s something hat is missing from many of the average film audience now. Which I choose to see as too bad.

Vvinni Gagnepain’s THE BOX

I bet you all knew something was up when I posted the four Tape videos all in row.  Well, now you can see for yourself. What we all thought was long over and buried has come back from the depths of it’s yellowed jelly hell and back into our waking world.  Here is Andrew’s latest package with THE TAPE:

Vvinni Gagnepain’s THE BOX from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

The Tape had to die. I realize this, and although included in that object are years of heartbreak, passion, and vengeance, it had to go.  Otherwise, we’d just continue the cycle of destruction.  So: Included in the package, then, were a few other recordable devices:  The first was the wax figure I was cutting into before the postal service got to me.  Inside of that was was a whole lot of foil and a memory stick that had been stripped of its casings.  I was greatly excited: Now that the tape was dead, we were moving on to sending this stick back and forth to each other (which provided a lot more hiding opportunities, as shown by the wax).  But, no. Instead it was a poop video.

This wasn’t it, was it?  I had waited around three and a half years for Andrew’s reply, and he gives me a poop movie that lasts a few minutes?  I was distraught and angry, but I had some bit of resolution when I came across the piece of cardboard that the cake (which you couldn’t see, but it read “I AM DEAD” in wonderful frosting letters): “NOT YET, SOON” it read.  Okay, so pretty soon I was going to get another package from Andrew. Good, so I’ll just eat these cookies and wait.

Soon...
Not Yet.

Well, there was another surprise in ANOTHER cookie (Yes, Andrew Gingerich is a devious sort): More foil, this time including a Mini SD card.  I still don’t know what’s on the mini SD card. I’ve tried a Mini SD card reader, a Mini SD adapter, and a Mini SD slot in a tablet.  The card never reads.

Finally, beneath the chocolate cake, there was another video tape.  But it was Home Alone 3, with the recordable tab of VHS tapes taken out.  So I figured I’d gotten a free copy of Home Alone 3, and I would just wait for next package. Days went by. I got tired of waiting. I figured Andrew had to have included the Mini SD adapted in the package somewhere, and I just had to find it. So where wasn’t I looking? At that point I had eaten all of the cookies and the part of the cake I could (The bottom part was covered in inedible ink), so I dug through my trash through the parts of the cake that I threw away: Nothing. Okay. There was one part of the package that just wasn’t adding up: Home Alone 3.  But it had to be Home Alone 3, there was no way Andrew could have recorded over it, which meant one thing: ANDREW HAD HIDDEN THE MINI SD ADAPTER INSIDE OF THE TAPE.  I took out my screwdriver and got work on opening the VHS casing.  Well, one of the screws stuck and I was impatient, so I ended up breaking open the VHS and sifting through it. Nothing. I had just destroyed my copy of Home Alone 3.

THe VHS of Home Alone 3 inside of a cake.
A Tape baked into cake.

It turns out, and this seems like a massive design flaw in the VHS, that if you just put some tape over the tab area of a VHS (even if the tab has been taken out, thus rendering it unrecordable) then you can record onto said VHS. And that’s exactly what Andrew did: He re-dubbed the saga of THE TAPE onto the Home Alone 3 VHS that I had destroyed.  Oops.

Accessories to Cake

As mentioned in the previous post about my thesis film Delicious Pound Cake, there were plenty of pieces leading up to the final release.  The first of which are these short videos featured on my Indiegogo fundraising campaign called Cakelogs:

Cakelog 12/27/10 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

Cakelog 1/10/11 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

Cakelog: MLK Jr. Day 2011 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

 

Cakelog: 1/24/11 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

 

Cakelog: 2/7/11 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

 

Cakel♥g: Vawuntines Day 2♥11 from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

The Cakelogs were an interesting idea. Mainly, I was trying to fix what I saw as a growing problem with my other video series, Vvinni’s Adventure’s Through Art School, wherein many time they became so long and meandering that I feel it became a daunting task to watch them. So, for every Cakelog I tried to keep them around one minute and have it be quick and to the point. This eventually became a major flaw in them, as I feel with only facts and information the Cakelogs became rather boring and procedural, and this eventually hurt my funding campaign rather than help it.  But, oh well.

Next up is, of course, the “Delicious Pound Cake” Teaser trailer, which I’m fond of. I think it give an accurate idea of the movie (it doesn’t answer the valid question of why a 12 1/2 minute film needs a trailer, but this does: I was hoping to have this out on the festival circuit for some time, and I wanted to give the cast and crew a chance to see the footage and get as excited about the film as I was).

Delicious Pound Cake Teaser Trailer from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

Finally, once funding and festival publicity was over, it was time to begin looking at the Delicious Pound Cake DVD.  This is still in the works (needless to say, I have some major issues with DVD Studio Pro, but that’s the only advanced DVD authoring software out there), but in the meantime here are a few extras to hold you off: A commercial from the Sugar Council of America, and gameplay footage from Salvador’s Chronicles of the Fourth Kind, described as being made by “one of the most visionary humans ever”.  Enjoy, have your cake, eat it, and explode into a miniature sun too.

A Message from the Sugar Council of America from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

 

Delicious Pound Cake

As the seven previous readers of the Henceblog know, much of my senior year of my undergraduates degree was spent putting together my senior thesis project: Delicious Pound Cake, a story about cake and the apocalypse.  The story of how production began and the story of pre-production can be seen with the Cakelog video series, but overall the creation of Delicious Pound Cake went by smoothly without much of a fuss.  Except that about a week before production began I had around half a ton of plywood fall on me and crush my leg, and that we got into a bit of a location snag for our general store (getting the proper papers signed in time, it wasn’t too terrible a problem, but it was something).

So, for the entirety of production I was on crutches, and for a sizable portion of production I was on painkillers. The funding campaign never took off as much as I would have liked it to (mainly because of lack of visibility and lack of funds for those who could see the campaign), and that coupled with general lack of organization on my part and business form all involved (this was, after all, still a school project) caused us to be a bit scattered during filming at times, and caused me to overlook a few pivot things.  But, in the end, the project was completed, and it went into the festival circuit.

That’s around where the previous Henceblog left off. Well, the festival circuit wasn’t kind to Delicious Pound Cake. Or maybe it was so kind it decided to leave it alone, but at any rate the film never made it into anything. So, I decided to put it up online so it can be free for anyone to watch anywhere. That’s where it is now, and that’s what is embedded below for your viewing pleasure:

Delicious Pound Cake from Vvinni Gagnepain on Vimeo.

I now understand why Delicious Pound Cake didn’t make it into any festivals, I think the script was a bit lacking, and the overall apocalyptic idea was just barely underdeveloped (enough, though, to make it very difficult to understand, and enough to create a few glaring issues [like this one: how is it that all of the spices and the like in the general store are all unharmed EXCEPT for the vanilla? Shouldn’t all of the spices have been vaporized in a nuclear blast?]).  However, I do think it’s a fantastic senior thesis, and I also think it’s one of the best movies I’ve made (not THE best, mind you, that honor belongs to Lamplight Breakfast on a Burning Kitten).  We all did the best we could, and I still think that it should have gotten into at least one festival. But oh well, Next time.