Flying Monsters 3D is a Documentary by Sir David Attenborough (Creator of the BBC series “Planet Earth”) about Pterodons: The Prehistoric Dino-birds.  Of course the first question is: What was a BBC Documentary doing in Santa Fe? The answer to this is: I haven’t the faintest idea.  I believe they needed to interview some dinosaur experts here and decided to get some other shots out of the way.

Day One of my internship I had one my most favorite credits to date: Butterfly and Dandelion wrangler.  So for the first part of the day I wandered around a field near the Santa Fe Airport catching butterflies with a couple of coffee cups (and later a butterfly net some friendly grips put together).  Then after a nice lunch of sandwich, I wandered around the same fields looking for dandelions, which proved difficult because it was a windy day and all of the good seed pods I could find would blow away before I could get them back to set.

Day Two I had a much more traditional role of PA and intern, for as opposed to Day One which was just B-roll day two was an interview between Sir Attenborough and one of the designers of an airplane based off of the Pterodon.  I did some art direction work of arranging lab materials and printing out large photos of dinosaur bones; I was a stand-in for Sir David Attenborough; I stood guard during filming and made sure that everyone else was being quiet; and I took a tour of a mad scientists lab who is trying to make fuel out algae (He was a really great guy, and by the end of the day he was incredibly frazzled).

Flying Monsters 3D will be coming to IMAX movie theaters and I believe the BBC television network as well, so keep your eyes peeled.  Also, here’s a picture of me on set, courtesy of Nani Rivera set photographer for that day:

Most of the other art direction pieces I made or helped with aren't visible here.

Embedded above, for your enjoyment, is the new hit smash from Nick Vogt.  Remember Nick Vogt?  Well he makes music, too, and this one’s about that very special day where everything’s a Love Themepark.  Enjoy.

So, I coated a notecard in receipts, then glazed it in honey and baked it in an oven. Here’s what it ended up looking like!

Yes, I sent this to an Italian Doctor.

Fun Fact: Receipts loose their ink when exposed to heat.  Also, note the Pirate Gold!

Thenvolope.

Well scream no longer (or at least not on this topic, whether or not you choose to continue screaming about something else is completely up to you).  I give you a piece I wrote this previous semester. I give you a tragic tale. I give you:

The Chronicles of a Man With a Perpetual Headache

I hope you enjoy. And if you don’t? Well, then I hope you’re vocal chords didn’t get too scratched with all that screaming.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

This is a multi-media piece I wrote for Theatre, Film, Radio, Prose, and Other during my time in Santa Fe. It’s also a compilation of 100 Untitled pieces I wrote, some good, some bad.  It’s been called “Unbearable to Watch”, “Pretentious”, and “Long”, but dammit I kind of like it.  So take a read, there’s a lot of it, though.  If you can make it through everything and have anything you want to say, feel free to say it. As for me, it was my birthday yesterday. So… happy birthday Vvinni.

The Untitled Rhapsody

The Untitled Rhapsody-Film

NOTE: Whenever you reach a film script in the motherscript, go to the film script. This should be obvious, but I said it anyway.

I received I Got the Poops in a sealed hard drive encasement.

I did not have a hard drive encasement, so what kind of devious package could I send the tape back to Andrew in?

How I made it.

Well, what I DID have was a few boxes, some mailing envelopes, stacks upon stacks of old time magazines, and Netflix flaps that I’d be recycling.  I also had a motif I was working with for the entirety of this piece (including In Fridge).  Thus, I got to work creating what can be described as a complicated web of papers and lies.  I shall now go backwards, starting with the tape.

The tape itself came to me with no blemishes and no markings. I returned it that way.

I placed the tape within a small white mailing envelope.  But just having it inside of the envelope would be too easy, so I glued it shut.  But the glue didn’t stick, and even if it did, there was still something missing.  So, I decided to paint the Lyrics to the Beatles’ “Happiness is a Warm Gun” in black paint onto the envelope. Somehow, it seemed fitting.

When I received the tape, it was wrapped in Timecube®.  I went for a much more mainstream conspiracy theory, but one that’s gaining temporal significance.  I speak, of course, about 2012.  I didn’t have any paper, so I printed it onto some old worm drawings I had for a design project.

This has little to do with what is being discussed.

But the package was still too easy to open.  I needed to supply my own screwdriver to open mine, and what’s the point of sending a package if I want it to be opened?  My gaze turned to the box.  I had two of them, one of which I’d be using to send it.  But what about the other?  And the magazines? What could I do with them?

I could construct a complicated box-like cardboard skeleton out of the box, cut up the magazines and the Netflix pages (with some adjustments, of course) and boil them into a papier maché-like substance which I would then seal the tape into the structure with!  Of Course, it was so simple!

I had a box. I had a sculpture. And it fit into the other box.  Also I start sentences with prepositions.

Two Gods, Putin, a Flying Conchord...

But it was still all too easy, he just had to cut through some layers of paper.  What else could I do? Ah-ha! I could glue another cardboard “lid” over the complicated sculpture and glued it into the box.  I also sealed it in there with some of the remaining “paper soup” I used on the complicated box.  It created an interesting I-Spy effect, as if it were an I-Spy gone terribly terribly wrong.

After I also sealed half of a fork in there (I had to help Andrew out with opening the box, and I had a broken fork due to a faulty refrigerator).  So I taped up the box. I taped it all kinds of up, I also stapled instructions for creating the box to some extra cardboard and sealed it in a paper cocoon on the bottom.

You won't get one million dollars with the press of a button, though.

I then covered the whole thing with a paper bag, so as to make it look more mystical and presentable. I painted the addresses on, wrapped it in wire, and went off to send it.  Unfortunately the clerk at the mailing center told me that I couldn’t wrap the package in wire, what with computers and everything.  So I took the wire off, and sent it to Andrew.

“BUT VVINNI,” You yell at your computer’s screen, “WHAT WAS IT LIKE OPENING THE PACKAGE AFTER IT WAS MAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLED?!??!?!?!?????!”

Yes, Andrew recorded himself opening the package and uploaded it into the Internet cloud. He also took all the pictures you see on this post. Wasn’t that nice of him?

This was shot entirely on VHS and is part of a larger work temporarily titled Plastix Ultimate. It’s a movie about soda, perseverance, and personal finance. Stay tuned for all of it.

Skin Removal Cream: If you were a product, it would buy YOU.