When I first began thinking about the cover design for the project, I decided that macro pictures of clothing, thus exposing its texture and frayed edges, would be a good image for the story.  So, after the first three days this is perhaps the most intriguing cover I came up with (for each week I had anywhere from 5 to 12 covers designed, I’m only going to include the ones I found most interesting).

One

The class, and therefore my client, responded strongly to it, but of course there were a lot of things that needed to be polished.  Typography, image, placement, etc.  So, next week I came up with this.

Two

Next week I spoke with another graphic designer who happens to work in a book store, thus meaning he’s surrounded by cover designs all day.  He suggested that because I had so many interesting forms and textures in the clothing I scanned into the computer, that I should try and find a way to combine the forms.  After trying various degrees of combination, I came up with this.

Three

I wanted to experiment more with combining elements and the overlaying methods, also I still needed a lot of work on the typography.  So, on Monday I came up with this which is my final design:

Four

So there we are.  Next Graphic Design project I get to venture into the realm of the poster, so you can look forward to that. I know I am.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

Ronald U. Metellus? NO.

Ron first came to the internet as the Emperor of Ice Cream, however sadly Ice Cream Land was thrown into chaos when a military coup, calling themselves the Waffle Alliance, overthrew the Emperor in order to restore the old “Republic of Frozen Yoghurt”.  But, if you wish to reminisce about the glory days of the empire and read/look at several ice cream related things, go ahead.  You MIGHT recognize a name of someone who has two ice cream related posts.  Because that person MIGHT have his own rarely-read blog.

Ron has escaped the ice cream land, and has taken over a small south pacific domain nation that he has renamed “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”. He is joined by the Chief of Fire Safety Nick Vogt (I’m also pretty sure he’s the head of Metellus Islands’ military [read: shaolin warriors]) and master of Mysticism Rex Horner (who is also probably also in charge of Propaganda).  Together these three, this triptych, form a blog that reaches through television, football, popular culture, esoteric Santa Fe-related references, and the Ghost Zone of the forgotten 90′s.

The Isle of Metellus, even though it was started in September, already has a sizable number of Citizen-Posts nearly living up to Mr. Ronald G. Metellus’ claim that on the “Ronblog”, as it is known, you can learn something new everyday.

Just in case you can’t read through my mixed metaphors and grammatical errors, I will share with you now some of the things I’ve learned on the “Ronblog” or on the “Isle of Metellus” or on the “The Blog of Ronald Metellus” or on the “Not The Emperor of Ice Cream Because THOSE BASTARDS TRIED TO KILL ME Blog”:

JCVD: One of the years best?

X-Files: A Ghost. A Ghost… of christmas?

Spacemen: They’re music now?

Evan Bustria: Filmmaker, or creepy guy?

Suspira: SpooOOooky?

Dollhouse: Another Cancelled Masterpiece?

Ronald Q. Metellus: Does he really like colons?

In a similar train of thought: Does he have Colon cancer?

These are questions that can be answered in the land of Ronald Metellus. It is a magical land, and perhaps you should visit it.  They have a pretty great tourism bureau. It’s run by a flamingo. A Flamingo that’s also… A RUSSIAN SPY?! Yes. And if you don’t visit it, that flamingo will fight you. And that flamingo is ME. Except I don’t run the tourism bureau. And… and I’m not a Russian Spy.  But I can still poison you with Uranium.

This is the first of four assignments I am to make for this class.  For the first of which we were to create a “digital essay” combining footage from Chantal Ackerman’s Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles, Shirley Clarke’s Ornette: Made in America and The Cool World, and At Land and Meshes of the Afternoon by Maya Deren.  What exactly a “digital essay” is, and why our professor couldn’t say “film”, I don’t know.  But here it is, let me know what you think.

And, no, I don’t think it’s legal to have this up on the internet.

I received I Got the Poops in a sealed hard drive encasement.

I did not have a hard drive encasement, so what kind of devious package could I send the tape back to Andrew in?

How I made it.

Well, what I DID have was a few boxes, some mailing envelopes, stacks upon stacks of old time magazines, and Netflix flaps that I’d be recycling.  I also had a motif I was working with for the entirety of this piece (including In Fridge).  Thus, I got to work creating what can be described as a complicated web of papers and lies.  I shall now go backwards, starting with the tape.

The tape itself came to me with no blemishes and no markings. I returned it that way.

I placed the tape within a small white mailing envelope.  But just having it inside of the envelope would be too easy, so I glued it shut.  But the glue didn’t stick, and even if it did, there was still something missing.  So, I decided to paint the Lyrics to the Beatles’ “Happiness is a Warm Gun” in black paint onto the envelope. Somehow, it seemed fitting.

When I received the tape, it was wrapped in Timecube®.  I went for a much more mainstream conspiracy theory, but one that’s gaining temporal significance.  I speak, of course, about 2012.  I didn’t have any paper, so I printed it onto some old worm drawings I had for a design project.

This has little to do with what is being discussed.

But the package was still too easy to open.  I needed to supply my own screwdriver to open mine, and what’s the point of sending a package if I want it to be opened?  My gaze turned to the box.  I had two of them, one of which I’d be using to send it.  But what about the other?  And the magazines? What could I do with them?

I could construct a complicated box-like cardboard skeleton out of the box, cut up the magazines and the Netflix pages (with some adjustments, of course) and boil them into a papier maché-like substance which I would then seal the tape into the structure with!  Of Course, it was so simple!

I had a box. I had a sculpture. And it fit into the other box.  Also I start sentences with prepositions.

Two Gods, Putin, a Flying Conchord...

But it was still all too easy, he just had to cut through some layers of paper.  What else could I do? Ah-ha! I could glue another cardboard “lid” over the complicated sculpture and glued it into the box.  I also sealed it in there with some of the remaining “paper soup” I used on the complicated box.  It created an interesting I-Spy effect, as if it were an I-Spy gone terribly terribly wrong.

After I also sealed half of a fork in there (I had to help Andrew out with opening the box, and I had a broken fork due to a faulty refrigerator).  So I taped up the box. I taped it all kinds of up, I also stapled instructions for creating the box to some extra cardboard and sealed it in a paper cocoon on the bottom.

You won't get one million dollars with the press of a button, though.

I then covered the whole thing with a paper bag, so as to make it look more mystical and presentable. I painted the addresses on, wrapped it in wire, and went off to send it.  Unfortunately the clerk at the mailing center told me that I couldn’t wrap the package in wire, what with computers and everything.  So I took the wire off, and sent it to Andrew.

“BUT VVINNI,” You yell at your computer’s screen, “WHAT WAS IT LIKE OPENING THE PACKAGE AFTER IT WAS MAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLED?!??!?!?!?????!”

Yes, Andrew recorded himself opening the package and uploaded it into the Internet cloud. He also took all the pictures you see on this post. Wasn’t that nice of him?

But in a few weeks you will.

Bicycles.

Congratulations Internet, you’ve made up for some of the horrible, HORRIBLE things on you.