Just in case you’re wondering, those are, indeed, Kraft American Singles I’m animating on.

MAINFRAME – final draft

I have attached below the files that I included in the final, however due to the nature of how I went about doing the project all of the pieces should be jumbled together.  However, for the most part the things that I’m actually holding onto are in the stageplay version.

Qyleiryn Language

Summary?

MASTERPIECE

The Qyleiryn Incident

To Stop Nuclear

This presented an interesting conundrum: How do I communicate the feeling and the quality of the scripts that would be read?  Well, for the quality aspect I decided to hand make the poster.  This proved to be very grueling and time-eating, but I believe it all worked out well. Enough talk, let’s take a look at the first design:

PHOTOMERGE.

I decided to go with the sunburst idea, both to provide an immediate visual focus point and to emulate the idea of an explosion, which is important in communicating the idea of the Ministry.  I also liked the idea of actually making the poster out of scripts.

I will be the first to say that Phase 1 is pretty bad.  Comments were made regarding the inability to read the type, I really hated the block-printing treatment I did on the title, and the overall eye flow and design of it is… terrible. Well, I took a look at plenty of poster inspiration after this, focused on what I liked about Phase 1 and what was said about it, and I compiled all of this together into Phase 2:

PHTOMERGE AGAIN

It still liked the sunburst idea, however it was said that before that coupled with the “No” sign it gave an… undesirable message.  I got to thinking about how to incorporate everything I liked about the sunburst, but eliminate everything that didn’t work.  Then, when I was in another class, it suddenly occurred to me to change the sunburst to an almost nuclear-type explosion.  So, I came up with the new main center design (a plus: It also reads as a squid).

The type of Phase 1 was terribly unreadable, so I decided to work with stenciled and inked type.  I also wanted to keep the visual language strangely mixed, but nevertheless held together.  So I still have the ‘rising sun” motif, as found in the posters of Tadanori Yokoo in particular, I decided to work with a color scheme akin to the classical Bauhaus posters, and I wanted to have some modern grid aspect to it as well.  I received some more feedback, and I moved to Phase 3:

Tea dying: It bleeds the letters, but can be controlled.

You guessed it, the main thing I wanted to work with Phase 3 is the color palette.  What I think was the bother with it is that it was too saturated, and not quite what I wanted with the bauhaus background.  Then, it occurred to me: Tea dying.  This provided an interesting aged quality to the poster, while also giving me a nice and steady brown throughout.  I also worked with the diagonal “May 16th”, and while working on it I realized that I greatly liked the large “7:00″, both as a shootover of the eye to the “Ministry of Playwriting” grid and as a throwback to the visual language of  a what I think as a 1980′s ski poster.  Finally, the magazine elements did not work at all with Phase 2.  However, I kept the magazines to a minimum in Phase 3 and I also kept it all within the same color palette.

But enough from me, let’s hear what you have to say.  And feel free to click on any of the posters to see slightly larger versions (the actual 20×30 scans would be too big).

Fire Fire Fire

I have decided to explore this idea further. Take this for example:

I believe it’s from Treasure island, most likely form the part where the one pirate tries to trick the other pirate into not being a pirate and starting his own CyberCafe. That was a good part.  On to more knife fights.

I guess it's actually a knife/grenade fight.

This one isn’t so much a fight, as it is the threatening before a fight.  As you can see, it will be one heck of a fight.

And so, to close this up, I will write my own knife fight.  Right here. Right now.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

HENRY WINKLER sits in dingy bar, nursing a shaker of whiskey.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON kicks in the door to the bar.  He holds a knife, which he points to Henry.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON

Henry Winkler, today is your day of Reckonning.

Prepare to duel!

Henry gives a sideglance at Hunter S. Thompson. He finishes his whiskey, and stands to his feet.

HENRY WINKLER

I knew you’d catch up to me someday, Hunter.

But there’s one thing you should know: I’ve been

Practicing.

Henry swiftly unsheaths two double-edged knives. He turns them, ready for battle.

Hunter narrows his eyes. He tosses his knife to his other hand.

Hunter charges at Henry. Henry charges at Hunter. They fight. They fight with KNIVES.

Hunter attempts to stab Henry in the gut, Henry blocks the blade with one of his knives and brings the other up to Hunter’s neck.

Hunter is too quick, he grabs Henry’s wrist and squeezes it tight. Henry drops the knife, Hunter kicks it away.

Henry turns the blade of his knife, scraping against Hunter’s leg.

Hunter yelps.

Henry smiles.

Hunter turns his knife and slashes across Henry’s stomach.

Henry grabs his gut. Hunter raises his knife, ready to deliver the final blow.

A throwing is knife hits the wall. Hunter and Henry turn and find HARRIET TUBMAN standing in the doorway. She holds a glave.

HERRIET TUBMAN

I’M NOT DEAD YET!

The three knife fighters stare at each other, readying their knives.

They charge. Freezeframe. End.

Also see Jules Vern.

The answer I always give these people is: “I’m sorry, I think you have me mistaken for someone else, please let me finish walking my dog now”.  But if they persist, I give them the name Evan Bustria.  He has two eyes and speaks fluent French (and by “fluent”, I mean I never aksed), but he does drive a zeppelin and he does fight crime.

Those of my seven readers who are adventurous may have visited Mr. Bustria’s old blogsite, How Do I Work This?, wherein he chronicles such pains as making a cartoon man run, the killdozer, and everyone’s favorite The Room.  Those same adventurers may have been disappointed, as I was, by Evan’s discontinuing of his blog.  I have good news, friends, for Evan Bustria has joined the ranks on what is swiftly becoming a “Superblog”: The Blog of Ronald Metallus.

For those of you who don’t know Evan, which I suppose is most of you, I believe you will find that Mr. Bustria has a great deal of finesse and eloquence to articles as varied as Hated Films and Hated Critics to Meth and Pancake Houses (although he has yet to write on the connection between Meth and Pancake Houses).  But why listen to me, let me share with you some of his work:

METH

Ashley Anderson

Armond White

Still hungry for more Bustria?  Aren’t we all.  Well here’s a documentary on Evan, done by fellow filmmaker William P. Culbert.  Here you see Evan Film, and Creep, and Drink, and Video-Game.

And so there you are: Evan Bustria.  Keep on looking at his work, why don’t you?  Because if you don’t, I’m going to hop into a Mad-Max style bus and ram into your house multiple times.  And if you live in a high-rise apartment?  Well, let’s just say I’ve got access to materials.  Materials that are helicopters.

I'd like to shoot plasma beams from my hands.

It was thought that a number of alien monoliths would replicate on Jupiter and force its core to go through Nuclear fusion, thus making Jupiter into a small star by the name of Lucifer.

It was thought that the United States and the Soviet Union would agree to embark on a joint mission to Jupiter to restart the on-board computer of Discovery 1.

It was thought that mankind would be plagued by the super-power creating “Cyboplasm”.

It was thought that the world would have become a lawless desert, controlled by an evil corporation.

We were supposed to have interplanetary teleporters. We were supposed to have super-intelligent robots.  We were supposed to have been wiped out by a virus or subjected to subconscious mind-control.

The Future is now, and we haven’t done much. Will this change? Only time will tell.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

Thank you for existing.

I was trying to come up with some words that would express my feelings for your body of work, and I feel the above about sums it up.

And... is that a houndstooth tie? NO!

In a recent interview I had with one Andrew Gingerich about future filmmaking projects for the Making of documentary Stories From Sturgeon, Mr. Gingerich expressed dismay that there no one in television worked in the fusion of genres.  Well, Mr. Whedon, I believe we could both disagree with Mr. Gingerich’s remark as I feel one of your many strengths as a filmmaker is in the seamless fusion of two disparate genres.

In one of your most well known works, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for example you were able to explain life using demons and vampires and ghosts. And that is neat.  In your cult television show Firefly you were able to integrate the Western and Sci-Fi genres incredibly well, incorporating common elements of civil war, isolation, expansionism, and the idea of “A Man and his Horse”.  This is also very neat.

However, simple genre integration, although super cool, would fail if it were written poorly.  Lucky for both of us that you’re not.  Yes, I heard some of your commentary on Buffy, and I was very glad to hear that you are indeed a smart filmmaker.  You’re also a very smart writer, as the characterization in all of the works of yours that I’ve seen is incredibly strong. It is because of these characters and these people that we are able to believe in your integrated worlds, and in a television dominated with shit like Heroes, it’s nice to watch a show that defines characters beyond “I JUST WANT TO FIT IN!” and “I’m bumbling and I’m a foreigner”.

So thank you Mr. Whedon. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Vvinni J. Gagnepain

PS: I suppose this post isn’t very useful, now is it?