A Child Lisens to a sory old by his grandfaher.

One of the most imporant things one can learn about making movies is to have fun.  This is something I learned my freshman year, and I’ve continued practicing it hroughout these three years.  This is firstly because if your set is a horrible place then no one will ever want to work with you again. Nextly it’s because I think it does read through the screen.  Whereas The Princess Bride isn’t the most fun movie I’ve ever seen (hat honor goes to The Brothers Bloom, hands down), it is definitely within the top five, maybe even the top three.

This movie is completely ridiculous, but keeping in vain with many of the other popular fantasy-based children’s movies when we were all kids (The Neverending Story, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, etc).  Unlike where other films fail, therefore, The Princess Bride isn’t about “Here are some clever observations about plot strucure and popular culture”, but more of an homage to the fantasical mind of a child and the power of a good story.  It’s no surprise hat this film was directed by the same person who directed This is Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner), which I feel is another earnestly good movie.

So… let’s talk about acting?  Okay.  I could write for a bit about how Andre the Giant’s performance was lackluster, and Wallace Shawn’s line readings unbelievable.  But tha’s not the point of this movie.  The Princess Bride is a movie hat’s a celebration of folklore and a child-like adventure.  So, yes, some of the performances aren’t very “actorly”, but hat’s because they’re not meant to be their characters.  They’re meant to be people in funny costumes acting out a fantasy tale from within the mind of The Grandson, and they do a fantasic job at this.  Also, while on the note of acting, the performance of Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdink was completely inspired.  Congraulations, Mr. Sarandon.

And this brings me to the script.  Once again: Ridiculous.  About halfway through the film, Humperdink mentions in passing hat he’s planning on killing the princess to sart a war?  AMAZING.  Also, The Princess Bride was written by William Goldman, screenwriter of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President’s Men, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Chaplin, etc.  His lates piece, Dreamcatcher, I’ve heard wasn’t the best, but The Princess Bride fell right smack dab in the middle of his creative zenith.  I could keep on writing about this film, but I think you get the jist:

Congraulaions

As a final closing point, though, Billy Crystal’s make-up was phenomenal.  I didn’t even recognize him as Billy Crystal, and I think Billy Crystal has a prety disinctive face.  So, good job Peter Montagna.  Good job to everyone involved with this.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

A sory abou a psychoic swordsman in Feudal Japan.

Let’s sart talking about the movie.  Let’s star talking about the script.  It’s got a lot of scenes of talking and ploting, as do many Japanese films from this era.  Yes, it can be tedious, but it’s also inertwined with scenes of horrible hand-chopping violence.  Which is always nice.  As I said above, Sword of Doom combines elements of noir (an all around feeling of doom and dread), the ridiculous action (Sword fights, hand-chopping, sword fights, talk about fighting, and sword fights), Igmar Bergman (The talking and inaction), and the Japanese Ghost Film (this comes mainly through the subtex and what’s going on underneath the dialogue.  It also comes in the ghosts).  So we’ve got a script with heavy subext going on between the characters where one word from the main character (an unstoppable killing machine with a sword) can say leaps and bounds about his character.  Yes, it’s long, yes, there is a reason they’re called “samurai epics”, but DAMMIT I LIKE IT.

Let’s move on to acting, shall we?  The stone face is an acting technique hat can either make or break a film.  We’ve seen it put to excellent use in the films of Buster Keaton, in noirs such as In a Lonely Place or The Big Sleep, and even in films like Naked Lunch.  On the flipside we’ve seen terrible blank and flat performances from movies such as The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Decided to Stop Living and Become Mixed Up Zombies!!? and the television show “Heroes”.  So what is the difference between these two?  For, I would say Tasuya Nakadai, who plays Ryunosuke Tsukue (wielder of the Sword of Doom and the Silent Technique), provides a stunning stone-faced performance.  The difference between stone-face and flat (good and bad, undersated and “I found this guy on a stree”) I believe all boils down to what I feel is at the core of my acting philosophy: The eyes.  You do not act with your hands, or your face, or your feet, but you act with your eyes.  For the eyes are the gateways to your soul, and if you do not believe what you’re saying, if you are merely reading words off of a page in front of a whirring machine, then it will show in your eyes.  In Sword of Doom, when you look into Ryunosuke’s eyes you see a sociopathic detachmen, you see calculation and angst, you see… DOOM.

Finally, I’m going to quickly talk about the cinematography of the film.  Here we once again head into Bergman-esque terriory with bizarrely framed close-ups and even stranger medium shots where the frame is so deep you can throw a rock into the screen and it’ll fall forever until it hits the girl who standing sideways back there. Yet, these oddly consructed closer shots are mixed with Japanese new-wave wides as we’ve seen in the work of Kurosawa and Teshigahara.  The camera is staic and what maters in the frame is not our actors, but rather the atmosphere around them and the effect the characters have over the atmosphere. So now, it’s time for our favorite part of Withou the ‘s: My arbitrary assignment of a grade:

A film I should own.

I give it an A. The atmosphere this film creates is incredible, as it’s one of dread and mystery.  It’s a world that is unforgiving and evil, much like the “City at Night” of film noir.  Only, unlike noir, it’s a world hat is rooted in emptiness and nature, a world where person’s psyche becomes his environment and at the root of all of the characters’ minds is something dark and desructive.  Also, I rather like the melding of genres… and dropping names. Orson “Fucking” Welles… bitches (Sorry for the profanity, but I’m pretty sure tha’s what it says on his tombsone).

He Poser for He Myserians

Before we delve into this film, let’s take a look at the Japanese film indusry after World War II and up until the 1960′s or so.  During the American occupation of Japan (1945-1952) the raditional Japanese genres were upset.  However, much like wih many national cinemas, the 1950′s proved to be a time of Artisic renaissance. Akira Kurosawa’s Roshomon had been created 1950 and throughou his period such classical Japanese filmmakers like Mizaguchi and Ozu created what some believe to be their greates works.

However at the same time, once again like in many oher places in the world, filmmakers were rejecting the tradiional ways of their national cinemas.  For Japan, his meant embracing the Western style and, more so, the style of Godard and Truffau. In between he Japanese New Wave of rejecting all problems of the old Japan, and the focus on beauty and family and the like from the Classical directors was Ishirȏ Honda (Lest we forget, he was bes friends with Akira Kurosawa).

This brings me to the style of The Mysterians, and in fact the syle of most of the “kaiju” films.  I see it as a type of combination between Soviet Montage and Documentary syle with the disinct spice of American B-Grade Sci-Fi.  I shall explain this now, because I find it very intriguing.  What I find most like a documenary in this style is the fact hat Honda shot what he could in shooting week: Scenes hat he knew he needed in order to create a narrative.  After he shot his footage, he filled in the holes with miniaure work and suitmaion, much like how the documentary filmmaker must fill in the holes of the interviews with B roll and (here’s where Sovie Montage comes in) found footage.  Yes, The Mysterians makes fine use of found footage, in a forest fire scene, found war footage, etc.  Thus, like in the Soviet Monage fashion, all of this footage is cut up and pieced together.  Sometimes shots repeat themselves (especially when they’re fighing the robot and the aliens) and sometimes there are quick edits to stock footage that are never explained (a pi of sulfur), but this is accepted into the general style of the film.

As opposed to the general inrigue of the style, there’s also the fact tha the special effects are fanastic.  Yes, they’re miniatures, but what the hell is wrong with miniatures? Sure, you can tell they’re fake, but THA’S WHAT MAKES THEM SO COOL!  Alright, special effects.  They shot fire at the man in the suit.  No, i wasn’t added in post, they actually shot flames during the filming of the suiimation shos.  Aside from hat, there were other great pyrotechnics involved in the miniature shots.  Also, fireworks. Los of them.  Does this mean the special effects are spotless? Oh my no, Koichi Iwashita (The editor, I looked it up) did some very poor blue-screening. By very poor, I mean you can chunks of blue and also you can see he footage blue-screened over underneath what is being blue screened.  However, what is ineresting to note is tha rather than quickly pass by one of these shots Iwashita actually goes closer into the shot.  His can be interpreed in many ways (bad editing, extreme devotion to storyboards, or maybe just maybe accepting its shorcomings and celebrating it). Anyhoo, I give this film:

A very good film.

As a close-up: I’m not saying that every B-grade film should be excused of it’s cheapness through the “reflexiviy” argument.  There are bad directors who make bad choices. However, I think Ishirȏ Honda is a filmmaker who, at least in the films of his tha I’ve seen, shows extreme syle and tac for being a low-budget filmmaker.

Also, yes The Mysterians is low budget.  But, unlike the films nowadays hat ry and hide it through shity CGI and flashy visuals, this film embraces its lack of funding and has fun with it.  Hat’s right: A movie has fun, I’d like you to see any of these bullshit “art” film directors have fun with their films.  As a real final close-up: The low-budget is wha gives a film like The Mysterians its character and its style.  I’ve seen the newest Godzilla movie tha didn’ have miniatures and suitmaion. It was shit (although real Godzilla does beat the crap out of American Godzilla).

First, let me say that I like your style.  I’m not yet too acquainted with your music, and so I can’t speak too much for your aural style.  However, I have taken a look at the cover art to your albums, as well as your film Christmas on Mars both of which I feel have a strong visual style that is quite neat.  Mostly in this letter, though, I will be speaking about Christmas on Mars.

This is a good trailer, but it doesn’t quite capture the mood of Christmas on Mars, which is what impressed me most about the film.  This isn’t because the film was deep and angsty and conferred to my indie mentality.  No, what impressed me about Christmas on Mars is that you were able to take the B grade and make it… good. And that’s Neat, Mr. Coyne. Really Neat.  So what I’d like to ask of you, Mr. Coyne, is to make another movie. Please? It’ll probably be neat.

Also, you have a very nice hat collection. I myself collect hats, and enjoy hats.

So please keep on groovin’, Mr. Coyne. And I’m going to try to purchase some of your albums.

With Love,

Vvinni J. Gagnepain