1) Sea Urchins

2) Bee Stings

3) Syringes

4) Foils

5) Scimitars

6) The Letter “M”

7) Porcupines

8 ) 900 Blowfish

9) Spruce Trees

10) A Mace

11) Elk Antlers

12) The Letter “V”

13) Cacti

14) Rose bush

15) Snap Dragons!

16) Goat Heads

17) Tiny rakes

18) The Letter “W”

19) Spider Bites

20) Pineapples

21) Pinecones

22) WWI hats from Germany

23) Republican criticism of Health Care Reform

24) The Letter “K”

25) An Eagle’s Talons

26) A Clock

27) ^^^^^

28) Shurikens

29) Lathes

30) The Letter “N”

31) Hermit Crabs

32) Joshua Pines

33) Democratic Criticism of the Iraq War

34) Roofing nails

35) Tiny rocks

36) The Letter “X”

37) Scared cats

38) Starfruit

39) Hornets

40) Godzilla

41) Goran

42) The Letter “Y”

43) Hipster criticism of the institution of Marriage.

44) Seahorses

45) Pyrite

46) Diamonds

47) Soil Airators

48) The Letter “E”

49) Beetles

50) Edward Sciscorhands

51) Pruning Shears

52) Raptors

53) Corn Lobbyists criticism of Agricultural Reform

54) The Letter “F”

55) Stegosaurus

56) The Wasp Woman

57) Blank

58) Mountains

59) Ravines

60) The Letter “H”

61) Ghost of knives

62) Stakes

63) High Schoolers criticism of Cafeteria food

64) Papercuts

65) Daggers

66) The Letter “T”

67) Thumbtacks

68) Caribou Horns

69) Burrs

70) Spurrs

71) Whirrs

72) The Letter “Z”

73) >>>>>

74) Kracko

75) Chestnuts

76) Switchblades

77) Staples

78) The Letter “A”

79) Record Needles

80) Crystals

81) Thwomp

82) Armadillo

83) Pangolins

84) The Letter “G”

85) Arrows

86) Javelins

87) Stalagmites

88) Fiddler Crabs

89) Stucco Ceilings

90) *

91) Stalagtites

92) Punk Rock

93) Bears!

94) Mammoth Tusks

95) Splinters

96) Ice Fragments

97) Drill bits

98) Forks.

99) Medieval Torture Devices

100) Porcupine Blowfish Mace

I like you as an art director and a production designer, and I think you’ve got some fantastic style and instincts.

This being said, I do not think you are not a good director.  I believe that you’re rather limited by the work you choose to do and the artists you choose to surround yourself with.  You are also not a writer.  None of your written work has much of a conflict and as such it doesn’t have a character arch.  This would be all well and good if this were the point, but if you meant it to be you also didn’t write that well as your films TRY to have conflict but fail.  For examples, I point to Be Kind, Rewind and your short film La Lettre.

I’d say your most successful film so far has been Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind, and I think this is because you were working with a script by Master screenwriter Charlie Kaufman. So, you’re capable of making good work you just need to attach yourself to a very good script. So how will The Green Hornet turn out?  I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I want to like you, Mr. Gondry, but I’m just not sure I can.

Vvinni J. Gagnepain

Zymogen: An inactive substance that is converted into an enzyme when activated by another enzyme.

Zyklon B: Hydrogen Cyanide held on or released from a carrier in the form of small tablets.  It is primarily used as an insecticide, but the Nazis used it for something much different.

Zygote: The fetus of a fetus.

Zygomorphic: (Botanical) having only one plane of symmetry, like a snapdragon or a pea.

Zygodactyl: A bird’s foot with two toes pointing forward and two backward.

Zygapophysis: One of the two paired processes of a vertebra that interlock it with the adjacent vertebrae.

Zydeco: A dance music from southern Louisiana featuring accordion, guitar, and possibly washboards.

Zyban: An antidepressant drug given to people in nicotine withdrawal (Trademark name).

ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ.

uh

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I'd like to shoot plasma beams from my hands.

It was thought that a number of alien monoliths would replicate on Jupiter and force its core to go through Nuclear fusion, thus making Jupiter into a small star by the name of Lucifer.

It was thought that the United States and the Soviet Union would agree to embark on a joint mission to Jupiter to restart the on-board computer of Discovery 1.

It was thought that mankind would be plagued by the super-power creating “Cyboplasm”.

It was thought that the world would have become a lawless desert, controlled by an evil corporation.

We were supposed to have interplanetary teleporters. We were supposed to have super-intelligent robots.  We were supposed to have been wiped out by a virus or subjected to subconscious mind-control.

The Future is now, and we haven’t done much. Will this change? Only time will tell.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

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.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

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…

-

0

∅

1. Bears.

2. Squid.

3. The Past Pluperfect.

4. Chainsaws.

5. Unicorns (They have shifty eyes).

6. Castles.

7. Tiny cars.

8. Breast Cancer.

9. Vampire Ravens wielding six-shooters.

10. Black Holes.

11. Bears holding chainsaws.

12. Squid Castle.

13. White Castle.

14. SPIKE TV.

15. Bears Holding Chainsaws in Tiny Cars.

16. Children.

17. Baby Seals with Knives.

18. No Life Insurance.

19. Milk.

20. Bloodletting.

21. Depression.

22. The Present Progressive.

23. Unicorn with Diabetes (They still have shifty eyes).

24. Rasputin.

25. Spiders on Motorcycles.

26. Ravens piloting a giant robot.

27. Sarah Palin.

28. That Gremlin on the side of the plane.

29. The Fearsome Mare of Germanic Folklore.

30. The Apocalypse.

31. The Unicorn Apocalypse (There are a lot of shifty eyes).

32. Bear holding chainsaw driving a tiny car without life insurance.

33. The green grass that grows all around all around, the green grass that grows all around.

34. Eyes.

35. Ignorance: The Most Horrifying Thing of All.

36. Ground Beef Monster.

37. Evil Lincoln.

38.  The Homeless.

39. The Room

40. Giant Leeches.

41. Vespa made of Knives.

42. Ghosts of nonexistent words that haunt your thoughts and eat your dreams.

43. The Scissormen of Orqwith.

44. Jack the Ripper.

45. Hideous Mutant Mind-Bug.

46. Phobos

47. Homeless Bears holding chainsaws while driving tiny cars without life insurance.

48. Twilight

49. Millipedes… FROM SPACE!

50. Gorilla with a mission.

51. Apocalypse Now as reenacted by Tommy Wiseau.

52. A Dangling Participle.

53. The Face-Melting stare of an angry rodent.

54. Undead Whales.

55. Joseph Stalin after three years in the Vietnamese wilderness.

56. Cheetos.

57. A Hallway with many doors. Each door leads to antoher hallways with even more doors that lead to other hallways.  At the end of all of the hallways there is a statue with a key in its mouth. The statue has eyes as large as saucer plates, and when you reach into the mouth for the key a trap door opens beneath you. You are in CELLAR, you have FLASHLIGHT. Use FLASHLIGHT?

58. The true face of the Hellmouth.

59. White Bread.

60. Unicorn tennis (Shifty eyes, all following a golden ball).

61. Zombie Raven Apocalypse.

62. The Blob that ate EVERYTHING.

63. Prof. Moriarty with an indestructible iron fist.

64. A Rubbish Heap.

65. Flaming Squid.

66. An Explosion.

67. Homeless Bear holding a chainsaw and drinking milk while driving a tiny car without life insurance.

68. The wrath of ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ.

69. A Typewriter with a face.

70. The Fiend without a Face.

71. Vampire Lincoln

72. The Lizard People.

73. The Molemen.

74. The Greys.

75. Smiles.

76. KHAN!!!

77. Gorgo: Godzilla of Ireland.

78. Godzilla: Godzilla of Godzillaland.

79. Godzilla Junior: Nothing should look like that.

80. The Fifth Horseman: Destruction.

81. The Painting that Ate Paris.

82. Three Peaches. Not two, not four, but THREE.

83. A Smiling Homeless Bear wielding a chainsaw and drinking milk while driving a tiny car without life insurance.

84. Ghost Robot.

85. The idea of One that goes against the Timecube®

86. Cats with access to Nuclear Technology.

87. William the Bloody.

88. Jory.

89. The Power to Make Hens Bleed.

90. Bleeding Hens.

91. Helios’ mighty lantern The Sun.

92. Fire, and lots of it!

93. Song and Dance Sequences.

94. An Unhealthy Breakfast.

95. Flaming Unicorns (The Fire makes their eyes bug out).

96. Smiling homeless bear wielding a chainsaw that cuts through space and time and drinking milk while driving a tiny car without life insurance.

97. History’s Greatest Villain: Shao Kahn.

98. Knife of fire, lathe of ice.

99. Smiling homeless bear wielding a chainsaw that cuts through space and time and drinking milk while driving a tiny car without life insurance over the green grass that grows all around all around over the green grass that grows all around.

100. The ever increasing void of infinity which forever grows but never expands as it slowly swallows the shadow universe where memories are stored as a thousand screaming cranes. Each crane owns three wagons and each wagon contains four heads of lettuce.  Within our universe these lettuces are known as the The Id, The Superid, The Post-Id, and the Anti-Lettuce, and each of these forces work within their own ways to consume our thoughts and make our hearts turn into vegetables (lettuce, mainly).  However, the lettuce is a spine and the spine is a car which drives down the dark eel infested road of eternity as life fades into a twinkling glimmer on the horizon and infinity swallows and expands evermore, but never grows.

Some may say a SUPERman.

Nick’s actually got three (that’s right THREE) blogs out there in the internet cloud, each of which provide a bit of insight into the very fascinating mind of Nicholas P. Vogt (Note: “P” may not actually be his middle name).  He doesn’t make movies, so I can’t show you clips, and I don’t think I can find any of his written work online (he’s a creative writing student). So instead, I will enhance this post with pertinent illustrations.

Ras Putin

Nick’s first blog is over now, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it. It’s title is World Heroes.  It’s about the ongoing battle between good and evil, it’s about superheroes and supervillains, it’s about Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it’s about Disease and Junot Diaz.  What’s interesting about this blog, and in fact most of Nick’s blog, is how all of these themes intertwine like a complicated series of rivers, each flowing into and branching off one another to create a portrait of someone with very unique, but very well-defined tastes. World Heroes was for a class, and as such it is somewhat defined by exploring Superheroism and Villainism.  Due to this loose definition, it has been discontinued and Nick has moved on to…

NOT Elijah, but perhaps an Uncle.

Awesome Town! No, Nick isn’t the mayor of Awesome Town (after all, The Mayor is evil), but he IS the chief of fire safety.  Awesome town is Nick’s personal blog, and so he posts on any idea that pops into his head, and there are a lot of ideas that pop into his head.  There are only seven posts on the blog, so it’s short, but he just started posting on it again, focusing on Lemurs.  Specifically one named Elijah, who may or may not be a reincarnation of Buddah in Lemur form.  Awesome Town hasn’t been updating very often, but when it does it’s usually worth checking out.

Nick’s final blog is apparently a partnership with one Ronald Metellus, Emperor of Ice Cream (Whom I shall fight for at another time).  I’m not exactly sure what Nick will be posting on this new blog, entitled of course “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”.  But, he’s got a post there and he might have more. So check it out maybe?

Nick also has a radio show. I’m not sure what it is, or where it is, or how it is, but I know it exists. And, consarnnit isn’t that what matters?  Also, if you Tweet, you can Tweet with him at NicholasVogt. I occaisonally read it, and I find it entertaining.

The Green Lantern

Nick’s tastes range from Marvel Comics to Hip Hop to Animals to Food to Nicholas Cage, and he is a friend. He is a SUPERfriend.  So check him out, none of his blogs are very long. And if you don’t? Then I’ll fire at you with my gigantic SuperLaser located within the Hubble Telescope. Yes, I have control over it. I have control over a lot of things.

End Transmission.

He Poser for He Myserians

Before we delve into this film, let’s take a look at the Japanese film indusry after World War II and up until the 1960′s or so.  During the American occupation of Japan (1945-1952) the raditional Japanese genres were upset.  However, much like wih many national cinemas, the 1950′s proved to be a time of Artisic renaissance. Akira Kurosawa’s Roshomon had been created 1950 and throughou his period such classical Japanese filmmakers like Mizaguchi and Ozu created what some believe to be their greates works.

However at the same time, once again like in many oher places in the world, filmmakers were rejecting the tradiional ways of their national cinemas.  For Japan, his meant embracing the Western style and, more so, the style of Godard and Truffau. In between he Japanese New Wave of rejecting all problems of the old Japan, and the focus on beauty and family and the like from the Classical directors was Ishirȏ Honda (Lest we forget, he was bes friends with Akira Kurosawa).

This brings me to the style of The Mysterians, and in fact the syle of most of the “kaiju” films.  I see it as a type of combination between Soviet Montage and Documentary syle with the disinct spice of American B-Grade Sci-Fi.  I shall explain this now, because I find it very intriguing.  What I find most like a documenary in this style is the fact hat Honda shot what he could in shooting week: Scenes hat he knew he needed in order to create a narrative.  After he shot his footage, he filled in the holes with miniaure work and suitmaion, much like how the documentary filmmaker must fill in the holes of the interviews with B roll and (here’s where Sovie Montage comes in) found footage.  Yes, The Mysterians makes fine use of found footage, in a forest fire scene, found war footage, etc.  Thus, like in the Soviet Monage fashion, all of this footage is cut up and pieced together.  Sometimes shots repeat themselves (especially when they’re fighing the robot and the aliens) and sometimes there are quick edits to stock footage that are never explained (a pi of sulfur), but this is accepted into the general style of the film.

As opposed to the general inrigue of the style, there’s also the fact tha the special effects are fanastic.  Yes, they’re miniatures, but what the hell is wrong with miniatures? Sure, you can tell they’re fake, but THA’S WHAT MAKES THEM SO COOL!  Alright, special effects.  They shot fire at the man in the suit.  No, i wasn’t added in post, they actually shot flames during the filming of the suiimation shos.  Aside from hat, there were other great pyrotechnics involved in the miniature shots.  Also, fireworks. Los of them.  Does this mean the special effects are spotless? Oh my no, Koichi Iwashita (The editor, I looked it up) did some very poor blue-screening. By very poor, I mean you can chunks of blue and also you can see he footage blue-screened over underneath what is being blue screened.  However, what is ineresting to note is tha rather than quickly pass by one of these shots Iwashita actually goes closer into the shot.  His can be interpreed in many ways (bad editing, extreme devotion to storyboards, or maybe just maybe accepting its shorcomings and celebrating it). Anyhoo, I give this film:

A very good film.

As a close-up: I’m not saying that every B-grade film should be excused of it’s cheapness through the “reflexiviy” argument.  There are bad directors who make bad choices. However, I think Ishirȏ Honda is a filmmaker who, at least in the films of his tha I’ve seen, shows extreme syle and tac for being a low-budget filmmaker.

Also, yes The Mysterians is low budget.  But, unlike the films nowadays hat ry and hide it through shity CGI and flashy visuals, this film embraces its lack of funding and has fun with it.  Hat’s right: A movie has fun, I’d like you to see any of these bullshit “art” film directors have fun with their films.  As a real final close-up: The low-budget is wha gives a film like The Mysterians its character and its style.  I’ve seen the newest Godzilla movie tha didn’ have miniatures and suitmaion. It was shit (although real Godzilla does beat the crap out of American Godzilla).