The Pangolin’s name comes from the Malay word for “Something that rolls up”, and although it may appear to look like an Armadillo newer genetic evidence shows that they are closer to the Order Carnivora (which also includes cats, dogs, bears, hippos, and certain cat-monkey hybrids).

Pangolins are nocturnal burrowing mammals who feed primarily on ants and termites, which they eat using their sticky tongues (much like anteaters) after tearing the anthills open with their claws.  Pangolins have an extreme aptitude for problem solving, and although this aptitude is primarily used for foraging for food they are also known for being excellent escape artists.

My inextensive research told me nothing of the Pangolin's ability to stand up while on a tree.

Yet, no matter how great of an escape artist they are, Pangolins are threatened by smugglers and chefs who take them from all over the South Asian islands to China where they are killed for their meat.  Customs and wildlife officials have smuggled over 12 tons of Pangolin meat and thousands of live and frozen pangolins to be sold to China.  Pangolin scales are also known to be useful in medicine, and it has been told that they reduce swelling and promote blood circulation.  Pangolin scales, when mixed with certain African tree barks, are also known to protect against dark magics.

So keep on burrowing, Pangolin, unless you’re one of the arboreal species in which case keep on living in hollowed out trees.

Hello Pangolin!

Flying Monsters 3D is a Documentary by Sir David Attenborough (Creator of the BBC series “Planet Earth”) about Pterodons: The Prehistoric Dino-birds.  Of course the first question is: What was a BBC Documentary doing in Santa Fe? The answer to this is: I haven’t the faintest idea.  I believe they needed to interview some dinosaur experts here and decided to get some other shots out of the way.

Day One of my internship I had one my most favorite credits to date: Butterfly and Dandelion wrangler.  So for the first part of the day I wandered around a field near the Santa Fe Airport catching butterflies with a couple of coffee cups (and later a butterfly net some friendly grips put together).  Then after a nice lunch of sandwich, I wandered around the same fields looking for dandelions, which proved difficult because it was a windy day and all of the good seed pods I could find would blow away before I could get them back to set.

Day Two I had a much more traditional role of PA and intern, for as opposed to Day One which was just B-roll day two was an interview between Sir Attenborough and one of the designers of an airplane based off of the Pterodon.  I did some art direction work of arranging lab materials and printing out large photos of dinosaur bones; I was a stand-in for Sir David Attenborough; I stood guard during filming and made sure that everyone else was being quiet; and I took a tour of a mad scientists lab who is trying to make fuel out algae (He was a really great guy, and by the end of the day he was incredibly frazzled).

Flying Monsters 3D will be coming to IMAX movie theaters and I believe the BBC television network as well, so keep your eyes peeled.  Also, here’s a picture of me on set, courtesy of Nani Rivera set photographer for that day:

Most of the other art direction pieces I made or helped with aren't visible here.

1) Sea Urchins

2) Bee Stings

3) Syringes

4) Foils

5) Scimitars

6) The Letter “M”

7) Porcupines

8 ) 900 Blowfish

9) Spruce Trees

10) A Mace

11) Elk Antlers

12) The Letter “V”

13) Cacti

14) Rose bush

15) Snap Dragons!

16) Goat Heads

17) Tiny rakes

18) The Letter “W”

19) Spider Bites

20) Pineapples

21) Pinecones

22) WWI hats from Germany

23) Republican criticism of Health Care Reform

24) The Letter “K”

25) An Eagle’s Talons

26) A Clock

27) ^^^^^

28) Shurikens

29) Lathes

30) The Letter “N”

31) Hermit Crabs

32) Joshua Pines

33) Democratic Criticism of the Iraq War

34) Roofing nails

35) Tiny rocks

36) The Letter “X”

37) Scared cats

38) Starfruit

39) Hornets

40) Godzilla

41) Goran

42) The Letter “Y”

43) Hipster criticism of the institution of Marriage.

44) Seahorses

45) Pyrite

46) Diamonds

47) Soil Airators

48) The Letter “E”

49) Beetles

50) Edward Sciscorhands

51) Pruning Shears

52) Raptors

53) Corn Lobbyists criticism of Agricultural Reform

54) The Letter “F”

55) Stegosaurus

56) The Wasp Woman

57) Blank

58) Mountains

59) Ravines

60) The Letter “H”

61) Ghost of knives

62) Stakes

63) High Schoolers criticism of Cafeteria food

64) Papercuts

65) Daggers

66) The Letter “T”

67) Thumbtacks

68) Caribou Horns

69) Burrs

70) Spurrs

71) Whirrs

72) The Letter “Z”

73) >>>>>

74) Kracko

75) Chestnuts

76) Switchblades

77) Staples

78) The Letter “A”

79) Record Needles

80) Crystals

81) Thwomp

82) Armadillo

83) Pangolins

84) The Letter “G”

85) Arrows

86) Javelins

87) Stalagmites

88) Fiddler Crabs

89) Stucco Ceilings

90) *

91) Stalagtites

92) Punk Rock

93) Bears!

94) Mammoth Tusks

95) Splinters

96) Ice Fragments

97) Drill bits

98) Forks.

99) Medieval Torture Devices

100) Porcupine Blowfish Mace

I'd like to shoot plasma beams from my hands.

It was thought that a number of alien monoliths would replicate on Jupiter and force its core to go through Nuclear fusion, thus making Jupiter into a small star by the name of Lucifer.

It was thought that the United States and the Soviet Union would agree to embark on a joint mission to Jupiter to restart the on-board computer of Discovery 1.

It was thought that mankind would be plagued by the super-power creating “Cyboplasm”.

It was thought that the world would have become a lawless desert, controlled by an evil corporation.

We were supposed to have interplanetary teleporters. We were supposed to have super-intelligent robots.  We were supposed to have been wiped out by a virus or subjected to subconscious mind-control.

The Future is now, and we haven’t done much. Will this change? Only time will tell.

And thus begins a new web to be woven.  What was on that most mysterious video tape?  Oh, well you shall know in due time.  For now, let’s just say it’s a birthday wish. A very special birthday wish.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

Slither is a film about a comet hat crashes into the small town of Wheelsy and unleashes a slug-like blob creaure, which promptly shoots a dart into one of the richest residens and turns him into a massive squid-like alien creature wih the power to impregnate people with slug, turn others into zombies, and mold with the zombies into one giganic, hideous, pulsating, monsrosity.  It’s also about Family Fun Day.

A Film Wrien and Direced by James Gunn

When going into Slither, I was expecting a fun horror-comedy starring Nathan Fillion. I certainly wasn’ disappointed, especially on the Nathan Fillion front.

And hat’s where we’ll sart, mainly because I want to write “Nahan Fillion” some more.  So here we go: Acting.  The acting was rather good.  They all believed in what they were saying, a step many <genre>-comedy directors overlook bu also the most imporant, and they were able to make the spectaor believe in an absoluely ridiculous siuation.  Also, Nathan Fillion is always a pleasure.  Fillion has excellent delivery, timing, and I’d say tha Slither wouldn’t be he movie it is wihout him.  Yes, everybody does a fine job, but withou Fillion this movie would be different. Very different. Nathan Fillion.

Ono non-Nathan Fillion aspects of the film, let’s go wih… writing.  Slither begins with a great discussion between two small-town sheriffs (One of them Nathan Fillion) about esimating the speed of a whippoorwill.  It’s a fantasic dialogue hat was writen spot-on.  Sadly, he rest of the movie doesn’t have the same meandering back-and-forth this opening dialogue had; it comes back in certain lines, but he writing turns instead to people exploding into slugs and zombies being controlled by the Moher-Squid.  This isn’ bad, but think of what it would have been if we had BOTH charming back-and-forth dialogue and exploding-slug-zombies.  I’d say it would be like Shaun of the Dead, and Shaun of the Dead was a very good film.  Nathan Fillion.

Some more noes on the script: 1) It was writen by the same man who wrote the 2004 version of Dawn of the Dead, which worked as a comedy but no so much as a movie.  I feel Slither has a very similar vibe  as Dawn of the Dead, however Gunn is improving (perhaps due to the addition of Nathan Fillion?).  Slither is a horror-comedy movie, however it doesn’t rise above hat.  2) Here is a character whose sole purpose is to explain the alien’s evil plot.  Unlike I’ve done in the pas, I’m not going to criticize Slither on this.  Why, you emphatically scream at your compuer screen?  Because this type of a character I feel is part of this horror sub-genre, and perhaps even of the horror genre.  We’ve seen it muliple other imes in the form of an old lady, the guy who survived last movie, a criminal psychologist, the guy who is number three or four on the death list (I suppose 3 is he quirky comic relief or the “other girl character”, isn’t it?), or Nathan Fillion (I’m just kidding, Nathan Fillion CAN’T die).

So wha more can I say about Slither?  Or Nathan Fillion?  Well, Slither also employs a major filmic technique of… oh. You’re sleeping?  Well I wouldn’t do hat if I were you, because he kills you in your sleep.  But I will move o the end and give my grade:

I probably should be a "C", bu somehing sopped me.

Slither is an average movie, but it has certain gems in it: Nathan Fillion, the opening dialogue, oher scatered lines, and Nathan Fillion.  I think tha about wraps it up, so… have a spooOOOooOoooky October. Please. If you don’t, I won’ get paid.  Also: Nathan Fillion.

In writing a letter, you are given a series of statements and questions about yourself which you address in your reply.  For example The sender writes “Linda just gave birth to puppies. How’s your wife?” to which you reply “My wife IS Linda, what have you done to her you son-of-a-bitch!”.  I treated the video correspondence the same way.

I Got the Poops was the letter.

In Fridge is my reply.

I shall now discuss the motifs and ideas I decided to elaborate on.  This may be very pointless and self-indulgent. If you wish to skip this, be my guest. Also, if viewing this post on The Facebook, please visit the mothersite to see the video.

I Got the Poops presented me with the basic format: We first begin with a long segment to weed out those who may not actually be interested in viewing the work. In I Got the Poops it’s hand-processed 8mm film of people walking on the beach.  In In Fridge, it’s the interior of a refrigerator.  Of course, to the spectator it just appears as blackness.  About a minute of blackness.

This idea of terribly long things where nothing happens is a motif I continued throughout the piece, also seen in the minute of me staring at the camera (as the color grows ever so slightly redder) and the ongoing Mudkip exchange.  I also feel this was a motif in I Got the Poops, the segment I’ll call “The Alpha Cat Adjustment” takes it’s time, Andrew blinking in Night Vision is also drawn out, and who can forget the credits?  I feel I expanded on this, however that’s how correspondences work.

After the browsers have been taken out, it’s time for us to move into the meat of the piece, meaning YouTube videos.  Andrew decided to work with funny cat videos, specifically cat videos that are internet phenomena ranging from the horrible screaming demon cat to the cat who iterates “Oh Long Johnson, Oh Long Johnson, Oh Don Piano”.  I decided to focus on a different internet phenomena: Mudkip, the mud-fish pokèmon.  Why? Because I want to be the very best, that no one ever was. Catching monster is my quest, to train them is my cause.  However this wasn’t it, for I decided to explore this strange new world of YouTube.  I also included a Perry Grip music video with rodents, you know the one, as well as thirty minutes of Disney Films (Which I of course reduced to thirty seconds).

So, we have two motifs that I’ve identified thusfar: The motif of something terribly long and the motif of YouTube.  There is one final motif I want to point out:  Andrew stole my Adventures through Art School.  I returned the favor.  Many of you either may not know or may not remember, but Andrew himself had an unsuccessful vodcast many moons ago, much as I do now.  It was called “The Diary of a Mad Filmmaker”.  I decided that if I’d be making a diary of a mad filmmaker, I’d be mad. I’d be REALLY MAD. I’D BE JUMPING UP AND DOWN I’D BE SO MAD. Need I go on? No. Because you’ve seen the piece, and you’re probably not reading this unless you’re me.

Once we get through the weeding period and the montage of YouTube videos, we move on to the Chapters. I Got the Poops included three I believe, In Fridge contains ten.  One of the chapters in I Got The Poops didn’t work, but this works in to the overall stylistic difference between the two works, of which I will discuss later.

No, I will discuss it now, because I’m tired.

I Got The Poops was edited together in a way that showed extreme skill with Final Cut and the editing process, I believe.  This is reflective of Andrew’s overall technique, for he’s been working with Final Cut longer and more seriously than I have. I Got the Poops was also much more focused on sound design than In Fridge.  From the dripping water blinking to the much more developed Alpha Cat Adjust segment, I Got the Poops does show that the filmmaker is very technically savvy.

I am not technically savvy, and neither is In Fridge.  However, what I lack in technical knowledge I’d like to think I make up for in ideation and gusto.  I’d like to think that In Fridge has the same sort of Chaotic, Manic, Surrealistic (Almost Nihilistic) energy many of my other pieces have.  It has been said of some of my other work that if the world ended and all was left was that video, no one would need any explanation.  I’d like to think that In Fridge is the same way. But what do you think? Are either of them better or worse, or are they just different? What motifs and expansions have you noticed between the two works?  How do you Powder a steak in the 3rd Dimension?

AND HOW DID IN FRIDGE TRANSFER TO TAPE?  Well luckily this question I can answer, because there are now in fact TWO versions of In Fridge floating out there in the internet.  If you dare, watch it again. It’s gained a much different quality through the transfer.

I had the tape dubbed, however my journey was only half over.  For the TAPE itself is only the goose you quest for: You think it’ll be great, but really it’s kind of stinks and it’s loud.

I had to create a package.

I had to create a cage.

The blog went down due to a Spam/RSS feed error of the bandwidth the site is located on.  But it’s fixed now, and soon there’ll be scripts and videos and worms. Hooray.