One eats a seal.

Watch out for these bears!

No oy ges lef behind

Within the third installment of the classic series, the toys find themselves facing two choices: Either move into the dusty atic, or get thrown away and crushed into cubes. As such Toy Story 3 is about regret, it’s about the futility of perfection, it’s about madness, destrucion, and doom. Shrek Forever After is about a fat green ogre and a funny donkey.  It’s also about farts.

Toy Story 3 sarts off a bit slow, however this slow part is merely because it’s the long version of all of the preview material.  However, it quickly gains pace and draws one in as heists, jail-breaks, and double-crossings take place. Shrek Forever Afer is the trailer, minus various references to musical pop culture and probably a reference to “The Muffin Man”.

The animation to Toy Story 3, like with all Pixar films, is incredibly texured and detailed.  Within the character design for Lots-O’-Huggin’ Bear alone, you can see the wear and tear upon the bear with all his hair shooting here and there.  There are subtle smudges all around his face, his torso, his deadly paws. The animation for Shrek Forever After, like many of he Dreamworks contenders, seem flat and lifeless.  It lacks the zest and snazz and exciement of Pixar. Put simply, you cannot eat Shrek Forever After. You can ea Toy Story 3, and it astes like STRAWBERRIES.

The original “Slink” is dead.  This means tha the good people at Pixar had to get a new voice for the wondrous role pictured above.  I, for one, noticed this difference in spades (and Yes, seven readers, Slink is my favorite toy from the Toy Story gang.  Because I love slinkies, and I love dogs, and I had a slinky dog when the first movie came out which, guess what, I LOVED).  Aside from the change in Slink (which I suppose couldn’ be helped, lousy pointed hand of death) the rest of the voice cast was rather well done. Every character was cast and made with a lot of love and hought, from the grassroots charm of Lotso to the brilliant bravado of Mr. Pricklepants (whom I enjoyed).  It was also prety neat how the creators had voice continuiy in Andy throughou all films and in Sid the Garbage-man from the first Toy Story.  I suppose I don’t have too many complaints abou the voice cast of Shrek Forever After, it’s keeping the families of Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy fed so I guess tha’s nice.

I don’t want to assign a grade to Toy Story 3. It’s a good cap to the series, I enjoyed it, and I certainly do not feel like I wasted my money to pay for it.  So, as some final houghts:

Pixar continues to have amazing character designs for background animals: being noticed in Ellie’s hamster from Up, and now in Andy’s old dog Buster who is simply adorable. As another final hought:

TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTRO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO TOTORO!!!!!!!

*Yes,  Mike Mitchell, I am shooting my mouh at your movie which I have not seen. I am a terrible person, and I accept this.  Also, Mike Myers, if you have a problem with this (which you should) please tell me so in your upcoming film “”The Love Two-ru”

I feel that this might be one of the tightest films Culbert has made, although you can view many others by looking at the Naculbrionic Vimeo page.  He’s also the one who brought us the documentary into the life of Evan Bustria, filmmaker (?), Creeper, and Globetrotter.

Also, here’s one that I’m in.

Culbert has a specific voice in all of his works, and that certainly gets in the way of comprehension at points, however considering that the most recent film he’s done is Manifest Destiny, I think he’s certainly improving and growing beyond general film school fair.  So keep it going, Mr. Culbert. I’m fighting for you with laser beams and robo-boots.

Also, he did the epic tale of MANCATTE:

It's afraid.

Bear

Bear

Bear Bear

Bear

Bear.

The mother probably wasn't happy about this.

Bear.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once?  You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best?  Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman?  I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it  the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began?  And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago?  I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s.  So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75.  Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist.  Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me.  Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

• 84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
• 85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
• 86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
• 87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
• 88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
• 89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
• 90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
• 91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
• 92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

.    .   .   .   .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

-

0

∅

Ronald U. Metellus? NO.

Ron first came to the internet as the Emperor of Ice Cream, however sadly Ice Cream Land was thrown into chaos when a military coup, calling themselves the Waffle Alliance, overthrew the Emperor in order to restore the old “Republic of Frozen Yoghurt”.  But, if you wish to reminisce about the glory days of the empire and read/look at several ice cream related things, go ahead.  You MIGHT recognize a name of someone who has two ice cream related posts.  Because that person MIGHT have his own rarely-read blog.

Ron has escaped the ice cream land, and has taken over a small south pacific domain nation that he has renamed “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”. He is joined by the Chief of Fire Safety Nick Vogt (I’m also pretty sure he’s the head of Metellus Islands’ military [read: shaolin warriors]) and master of Mysticism Rex Horner (who is also probably also in charge of Propaganda).  Together these three, this triptych, form a blog that reaches through television, football, popular culture, esoteric Santa Fe-related references, and the Ghost Zone of the forgotten 90′s.

The Isle of Metellus, even though it was started in September, already has a sizable number of Citizen-Posts nearly living up to Mr. Ronald G. Metellus’ claim that on the “Ronblog”, as it is known, you can learn something new everyday.

Just in case you can’t read through my mixed metaphors and grammatical errors, I will share with you now some of the things I’ve learned on the “Ronblog” or on the “Isle of Metellus” or on the “The Blog of Ronald Metellus” or on the “Not The Emperor of Ice Cream Because THOSE BASTARDS TRIED TO KILL ME Blog”:

JCVD: One of the years best?

X-Files: A Ghost. A Ghost… of christmas?

Spacemen: They’re music now?

Evan Bustria: Filmmaker, or creepy guy?

Suspira: SpooOOooky?

Dollhouse: Another Cancelled Masterpiece?

Ronald Q. Metellus: Does he really like colons?

In a similar train of thought: Does he have Colon cancer?

These are questions that can be answered in the land of Ronald Metellus. It is a magical land, and perhaps you should visit it.  They have a pretty great tourism bureau. It’s run by a flamingo. A Flamingo that’s also… A RUSSIAN SPY?! Yes. And if you don’t visit it, that flamingo will fight you. And that flamingo is ME. Except I don’t run the tourism bureau. And… and I’m not a Russian Spy.  But I can still poison you with Uranium.

Man v. Dog v. Bear

The Bear Continues to be fought.

Some may say a SUPERman.

Nick’s actually got three (that’s right THREE) blogs out there in the internet cloud, each of which provide a bit of insight into the very fascinating mind of Nicholas P. Vogt (Note: “P” may not actually be his middle name).  He doesn’t make movies, so I can’t show you clips, and I don’t think I can find any of his written work online (he’s a creative writing student). So instead, I will enhance this post with pertinent illustrations.

Ras Putin

Nick’s first blog is over now, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it. It’s title is World Heroes.  It’s about the ongoing battle between good and evil, it’s about superheroes and supervillains, it’s about Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it’s about Disease and Junot Diaz.  What’s interesting about this blog, and in fact most of Nick’s blog, is how all of these themes intertwine like a complicated series of rivers, each flowing into and branching off one another to create a portrait of someone with very unique, but very well-defined tastes. World Heroes was for a class, and as such it is somewhat defined by exploring Superheroism and Villainism.  Due to this loose definition, it has been discontinued and Nick has moved on to…

NOT Elijah, but perhaps an Uncle.

Awesome Town! No, Nick isn’t the mayor of Awesome Town (after all, The Mayor is evil), but he IS the chief of fire safety.  Awesome town is Nick’s personal blog, and so he posts on any idea that pops into his head, and there are a lot of ideas that pop into his head.  There are only seven posts on the blog, so it’s short, but he just started posting on it again, focusing on Lemurs.  Specifically one named Elijah, who may or may not be a reincarnation of Buddah in Lemur form.  Awesome Town hasn’t been updating very often, but when it does it’s usually worth checking out.

Nick’s final blog is apparently a partnership with one Ronald Metellus, Emperor of Ice Cream (Whom I shall fight for at another time).  I’m not exactly sure what Nick will be posting on this new blog, entitled of course “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”.  But, he’s got a post there and he might have more. So check it out maybe?

Nick also has a radio show. I’m not sure what it is, or where it is, or how it is, but I know it exists. And, consarnnit isn’t that what matters?  Also, if you Tweet, you can Tweet with him at NicholasVogt. I occaisonally read it, and I find it entertaining.

The Green Lantern

Nick’s tastes range from Marvel Comics to Hip Hop to Animals to Food to Nicholas Cage, and he is a friend. He is a SUPERfriend.  So check him out, none of his blogs are very long. And if you don’t? Then I’ll fire at you with my gigantic SuperLaser located within the Hubble Telescope. Yes, I have control over it. I have control over a lot of things.

End Transmission.

Do not kill the Bear, it only wants to LOVE.

They kill what they don’t understand.