The Great and Powerful Henceblog » An Egg

U is for Unnecessary

Vv — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 02:38:41 +0000

Okay well… uh… today for breakfast I ate eggs. SCRAMBLED eggs, although I don’t much care for scrambled eggs. I prefer sunny side up, this is because I like seeing the yolk ooze out of the gash you make in it. Then you get to eat up the yolk with toast, and it makes for a delicious breakfast. However, I DO NOT eat my breakfast with Bacon. As per assumed request, I will now outline the steps I take to de-T a poster for a without the T’s article. The first and most important rule is that the complexity and work depends on the resolution of the poster, for if you can’t make out a “T” when you’re zoomed in at 100%, then chances are no one will ridicule me for skipping some T’s in the credits. That’s another thing, it’s easy to de-T titles and taglines, but you get into real trouble with the credits below the poster, hence why a good deal of the posters I use do not have the bottom credits. When they do, I try to use low resolution posters. What can I say, I like to use my time wisely. I JUST HAD A LOTION MISHAP, please give me one moment. Okay I’m back. It’s winter, so my hands get incredibly dry and unless I provide constant moisture to them they crack open. Even if I provide constant moisture they crack open, it’s a problem. Hey! I’ve got the Ramayana and the Mahabarate right here! Let me quote it for you: “BOOK VI: Cattle-Lifting: The Conditions of the banishment of the sons of Pandu were hard. They must pass twelve years in exile, and then they must remain a year in concealment. If they were discovered within the last year, they must go into exile for another twelve years.” Okay, well I think that’s enough. We had a blizzard last night, so I’ve got two hours until my first class starts and I really just needed to spend some time. I suppose I’ve done that. Maybe. Although I’ve got about twenty minutes left, so I guess I didn’t do that great of a job of wasting time. I just spoke with my mother, it looks like I CAN get dental coverage here in Santa Fe, which is nice because I need to get a dental appointment by the end of March because my Health Insurance runs out in March because my father is currently unemployed, so he can’t stay on Anheisur Busch’s health insurance plan for too long. But, I can now get a dental appointment here and then I won’t need another dentla appointment for a while, hopefully. Dental appointments usually go pretty well for me, I’ve always had pretty good teeth and, ever since eighth grade, I’ve been taking very good care of my teeth. I brush twice daily, rinse twice, and floss once. Although, if I feel as though my teeth are particularly dirty, then I’ll either brush them once more or floss them once more. Recently, I’ve started flossing more because in my previous dental exam I found out the I have the beginnings of three cavities. I think this is because during 2009 I ate a lot of sweets because it helped me get through depression. I think I still do have a bit of a sweet-eating (or “Sweeating”) problem, but I’m working on it. However, still with these three cavities I don’t think my dental record is too stigmatized, because I’ve never had a problem before so three cavities in twenty-one years I think is an okay track-record. Well, I’ve got to go see what a “two hour delay” means for school, I know everything starts at 10:00, but I’m not sure what that means for classes after noon. For example, I’ve got class at 2:15, does a two-hour delay mean that this class starts at 4:15? Or does it still start at 2:15? Because depending on when this class starts, it will effect how long I can be at my class where I build sets for five hours. If my 2:15 class is still at 2:15, then I’ll only have two hours to work on set-building today and I’ll have to go into the shop on Thursday morning and finish up. However, I may not be able to go into the shop on Thursday because I might be beginning my internship on Thursday by helping put together ANOTHER set. However, my regular set-building class is for the theatre department, and my internship is for the art department for “True Grit” the new Coen Brothers film which is shooting on campus (I’ll give much more time to this in a later post, believe me). Okay, I’ll be right back. I’m back. Just kidding, I was seeing if you were paying attention, not even a second passed between these sentences. Okay, now I’m leaving. Bye bye. Alright I’m back. Class started at 10:00, although I probably should have been there at the original time of nine o’ clock because I had to mop up the floor because the water was left running all day long. It was a problem, but we mopped up all of the water and then I worked on spackling a cube for the upcoming production of “The Putnam County Spelling Bee”. At least I think it’s Putnam County, I may be confusing it with an elementary school in my town called Putnam. The elementary school is called Putnam, not the town. I need to do my laundry now. I was able to find these sheets in the grocery store that have both Tide cleanser and a dryer sheet combined into one sheet, which will probably save me money because I won’t have to buy two packages (I believe it costs as much, maybe even a little cheaper, than a carton of Tide, and I’ve been told to always use Tide. It’s a tad bit expensive, yes, but it gets the job done well and it works the best). However, I also have a few pants that are dry-clean only. Thanks to modern technology, though, it no longer matters if something is dry-clean only because they have special sheets that you can put in the dryer with your clothes, and the sheets dry-clean your clothes. It’s really nice, because otherwise either I wouldn’t have two great pairs of pants, or I would be spending a fortune on dry cleaning. I also have to clean my coat. I only gave it a detailed wipe-down after my sister’s dog threw up on it, so it probably needs a good clean. I’ve also got to clean my sheets sometime soon, but I’d want to do that over the weekend when I have more time. Anyways, I guess that’s all I’ve got to say, really. I’ll go ahead and wrap everything up right now. Uh… I ate scrambled eggs this morning, and then I decided to start writing this because there was a blizzard last night that resulted in a two-hour delay this morning. However, I should have gone to my morning class on time because there was a good deal of mopping to do. However, instead I walked through how I de-T a poster, and how de-Ting is all about the resolution of the poster file you get. I also need to make a dental appointment, because I need to get my teeth cleaned. Also, during my last dental check-up I found out that I have three cavities that are forming, which is probably because I ate a good deal of sweets last year because it made me feel better about all of the horrible things that were happening. I have to do laundry, which I’ll probably work on after I’m done writing this paragraph, and during my laundry-doing I’ll probably dry-clean my coat because it needs a good, deep clean. I’m pretty sure thats all I’ve got to say. Oh, I need to make my dental appointment now because my Health Insurance runs out in March. That’s a problem, a very big problem, but I think we’re going to be getting on another health insurance plan that covers basic hospital and doctors visits, but not dental or psychology (which is too bad, most of my problems are psychological and physical). Oh, for dinner I ate a veggie burrito. It had zucchini and cheese and beans and onions and some other vegetables. I also ate some beets and squash, which was quite delicious, although from what I heard, a lot of people don’t like beets. This is too bad, because I think beets are pretty neat things. I’ve also heard some Borsch-bashing during my time in New Mexico, although from what I’ve heard from everyone else is that Borscht is very delicious. This leads me to think that maybe people in New Mexico just hate beets for bizarre reasons beyond me. When I was kid, I used to eat beets all the time. This is because my Dad used to have a gigantic garden that he’d grow all kinds of fruits and vegetables in, including beets. So i ate a lot of beets as a kid, and I guess it stuck with me because I still really enjoy beets even though I don’t eat them as much as I should. I think beets are high in Vitamin A, although I don’t really remember what vitamin A does for your body. I know Vitamin E helps with hair and skin, and so when you’re older you need to eat a lot of Vitamin E so your skin will stay healthy, same with your hair. But I don’t know what Vitamin A does. So I like eggs and I like beets, although I shouldn’t like eggs because I have high cholesterol. I’m pretty sure I told you that. I’ve got high cholesterol. And I probably shouldn’t like beets because they probably stain your teeth. Beet juice is a pretty potent red dye that was used by many indian tribes during the weaving of their baskets and tapestries. I also really like Kale, and I should like Kale because it’s a very good vegetable to eat. I think Kale is also high in Vitamin A, but I may just be saying that things are high in Vitamin A because I can’t think of any other vitamins that vegetables are high in. I’m pretty sure wheats are high in Vitamin E. I know fish is. Fish is quite high in Vitamin E, and fish is also apparently good for your cholesterol. Fish and Quinoa. Both help reduce cholesterol. I keep misspelling cholesterol, I keep thinking it ends with an “A”, and the computer keeps telling me I’m wrong, but I just keep on spelling cholesterol with an “A” anyways. I also keep thinking its spelled “orol” as opposed to “erol”. So I guess cholesterol is just a difficult word to spell. Like Nietzsche. That’s another difficult word to spell. When I tried to spell it just now I forgot the “S”. That’s a problem when you forget an “S”. I think its an “S”, because phonetically “S” starts with a vowel sound. Just like its an honest man. Honest begins with a vowel sound, and so you use an, not A although the word itself is actually beginning with a consonant. I’m getting pretty tired, so I’ll probably stop writing soon. Although I’ve got a meeting at 8 o’ clock, so I can’t really rest yet. Which is too bad, because I spent most of today out and about and I didn’t really have any time to rest except for an hour wherein I played Pokemon. I’m playing Pokemon Crystal right now, and its going pretty well. I’ve got all eight gym badges, however I just caught a low-level Dratini (level 10), and I want to take a dragon-type pokemon with me into the Final Four battle. So I need to work on leveling up my Dratini, and I also need to work on leveling up all of my other pokemon too. Pokemon is spelled with an accent over the “E”, but I don’t really feel like going through the hassle of putting it in there. I have to open up a word document and use the “Special Characters” tab there because Safari doesn’t had “Special Characters” as a choice in any of their drop-down menus, which is a big problem because I probably use Special Characters the most over the internet. I might just be noticing it more when I need to use special characters on the internet, though, because I can’t actually access the Special Characters on the internet so I notice it because I have to take special steps in order to use special characters. Well I guess that’s it, thanks for reading, but like I said I’m pretty tired and I kind of want to rest before I have to leave at 8 o’ clock. I also want to start my laundry. Bye bye.

A is For Alphabet

Vv — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:08:18 +0000

It’s February, the most useless and shortest month. The solution to the eternal dilemma of “What am I going to do before March?”: Alphabet. There are now 26 more days of this month, please stay tuned.

About Film, Time, and Pumas

Vv — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:22:21 +0000

This is the last project I did for my Landscape and film class. This one is a dream sequence. A dream sequence of what, you may ask? Well, I direct your attention to the title of the post and strongly recommend you pay attention to what you click on.

100 Posts

Vv — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:46:46 +0000

This is it, internet. I have made a footprint in your soft soil that will someday become a mighty canyon due to soil erosion and overdevelopment. I have posted one hundred things n this here Great and Powerful Henceblog.

Here are what I remember of the previous one hundred posts:

1. We’re still not eating pie.

2. The relationship between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman is still… being researched.

3. I’m still looking, Mr. Icke. I’m still looking.

4. Vvinni: Episode 1 was just too long.

5. Vvinni: Episode 2 was even longer.

6. Vvinni: Really? Posting three all at once? You could have saved some.

7. Vvinni: Now you’re just running out of ideas.

8. IMdB is much more Puppy now. And thank God for that.

9. Mr Coyne: You are still groovy as Hell. Never forget that, will you?

10. Vvinni: Nobody watches these, you know.

11. JCVD: One of the year’s best? Certainly one of Van Damme’s Best.

12. Vvinni: I like your hat.

13. The birds still want to eat the noodles, but they never will.

14. You know, Mr. Gaiman? I think I’m seeing a common motif in your work.

15. Vvinni: YOU’RE MIXING PLASTICS WITH GLASS.

16. It’s almost time for my Yupd!

17. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ. Beyond 2001, Beyond 2010, Beyond Love, Beyond Death.

18. Vvinni: We’re going back to the graveyard.

19. Shopping Penguin? Shopping Penguin.

20. I gave it the “Lizards” tag because the Dream-Eating monster is only able to use the reptilian part of his brain. I AM WITTY.

21. He-Yah! We gotta save the farm, rope those… cows…

22. My other documentary was about carpet.

23. It’s changed in ways you can never imagine.

24. PEA SOUP?!

25. Hello.

26. Vvinni: It makes me feel kind of bad I haven’t been having as many adventures this semester.

27. Worship me as a God.

28. YOU’RE TERING ME APART, LISA!

29. It’s still dripping blood all over my floor.

30. I left off here.

31. I picked it back up here.

32. Then I got shot by some bullets.

33. It’s cold inside, you’ll have to wear a cape.

34. I feel I’ve made much more intriguing work than what I did Freshman year.

35. Really? This is when the quest began? And I haven’t picked it back up until… a few weeks ago? I am NOT doing a good job questing.

36. Vvinni: You’re trying to hard. Stop it.

37. Exploding Goldfish Films. Check them out, why don’t you?

38. OH MY GOD, IT’S A BEAR!!!!

39. See. This is a documentary about Carpet!

40. Help! It took six months to make this!

41. I kill you both.

42. Andrew did this, I have nothing to say about it.

43. Eggs: A common motif of mine.

44. The world would melt were it made of cheese.

45. OH DEAR GOD IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!

46. One of the best of 1991?

47. I got the problem fixed, but now I can’t see my tongue.

48. That’s definitely a Bear.

49. Chickens, Money omelets, and axe-wielding.

50. Gum: It’s really a disappointment nowadays.

51. No, Bicycles!

52. Goodbye.

53. Ethan Holbrook: He Travels through time and Astronauts.

54. If you want to know more about Discouraging Words, then you should be reading the EXGfilms blog. I’m too busy posting movie reviews that are too long and Filler.

55. The cat represents life because we are all being held by the arms of fate that are attached to the torso of our decisions and that torso is the torso of another cat which, oddly enough, represents the plight of minimum wage worker at Wendy’s. So, in conclusion: A Cat is a hamburger.

56. J’ai besoin d’étudier à un examen français.

57. Sharks.

58. Sharks.

59. Sharks.

60. Sharks.

61. Sharks.

62. Sharks and Film.

63. Sharks.

64. Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream, Skin Removal Cream. SKIN REMOVAL CREAM! Skin. Removal. Cream. Skin Removal Cream? Skin Removal Cream! Skin Removal cream skin removal cram, skin, removal cream. Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream. SKIN. REMOVAL. CREAM. Skin, Removal, Cream, Skin, Removal, Cream. Skin Removal Cream; Skin Removal Cream. Skin Removal Cream: If it weren’t a product, it would BUY YOU! SKIN REMOVAL CREAM?!!!!

65. It is five o’ clock, and so Tea Time is over.

66. A Surprisingly coherent corpse, unlike a certain other one coming up.

67. One of the best of Moon-related sci-fis of 2009?

68. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEARS ON THIS BLOG.

69. ❦

70. Something (A Post).

71. Discouraging Words: Coming Summer of 2010.

72. Nom nom nom nomnom nom nom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom nom nom nom nomnom nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. Nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom, nom-nom. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM NOM NOM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM. NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM-NOM NOM.

73. I don’t even care what the next post was, THERE WERE HAMSTERS IN THE LAST ONE.

74. Let’s see… Was there a tiger in this one? No, just time travel.

75. Nathan Fillion: A Man of many talents. Like being both an astronaut and cowboy. Also, being pure evil’s right-hand man and an award-winning novelist. Truly he accomplished more in a lifetime than any man can.

76. Nick Vogt: A Man whose cat might be a monster.

77. Trail of Terror?

78. I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight, you let me know everything’s alright. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. Lips as sweet as candy, your taste is on my mind. Girl, you got me thirstin’ for another cup of wine. Got a bug from you, girl, but I don’t need no cure. I just take your picture (?) If I can be sure. All the good times, when we’re all alone, keep up girl. Yeah, you turn me on. I-I-I’m hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me, oh yeah. All the good times, when we’re all alone. Keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on I-I-I’m Hooked on a feeling and I’m high on believing that you’re in love with me. I said I’m hooked on a feeling. And I’m high on believing that you’re in love me. Yeah, I’m hooked on a feeling!

79. A whole new web is about to be spun, methinks.

80. Does this mean I might be the next Batman?

81. 100 Untitled pieces, most them involve things breaking.

82. Nathan Fillion: He also battle killer slugs from outer-space. Truly, he is a god.

83. Heart attacks.

84. OH NO, IT’S ANOTHER BEAR!!! THIS MAKES FOUR! FOUR BEARS!!!
85. Beat yourself with a 2×4.
86. OooOooOooOOOO Castles. SpoOOOoOoooOOky.
87. But doesn’t that explain us all?
88. I’m thinking of being Everything next year for Halloween.
89. Towed away at owner’s expense.
90. Vvinni: I’m thinking of a wall now to block their thought beams.
91. I am Rea-Gan! I am-Rea-Gan!
92. Don’t even think about coming to rescue me because I’m probably dead.

93. I just made another letter which I baked in the oven with a honey glaze. It was for Christmas.

94. Sword of Doom: One of the best?

95. Why did you kill this Lawn Ornament?

96. Wagga wagga wagga.

97. You’re tearing me apart, Mummy and Robot.

98. Ronald Q. Metellus: Man of Mystery and probably Sandwiches.

99. Joss Whedon: I wish you luck in your ventures outside of the television box, for I shall be on your side when all comes crashing down.

100. I- Oh no. I… I’m going to have to start this post inside of this post now… uh Okay. Here goes: WTIVVVVIMVJVTYVIZVSIHMIPHVWYIIITIIRVEOSHIAETOOITCGNGEITJSSSSSSSSIAOT❦DNILNNTIAD1NHOBOBITVIDISWWYRJ. I-On. I…Igthtstpiotpn… uO. Hg:

WIVVMJTVZIMPVYITIVOHATOTGGIJSSSSZTDINTA1HBBTIIWYJ. I-o. I… I… u. H:

IMP TIVO HAT DIDN’T HAVE. I. I… H:

Adapt vivid, thine moth. I. H:

AVTMIH:

01000001010101100101010001001101010010010100100000111010

000000010000100010001000100

. . . . .

⠂⠄⠠⠤

⠦

∴

…

∅

Help! My Lawn Ornaments Been Taken by ROBBERS!: The Movie

Vv — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:24:04 +0000

The wait is finally over. You’ve seen still photographs, you’ve read the script, now it’s time to see the movie.

If you wish to see a higher resolution file, please contact me. I couldn’t figure out how to do an HD upload on Vimeo.

Help! My Still Photographs Have Been Taken by ROBBERS!

Vv — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:32:45 +0000

Remember that script I posted up a while ago? And remember the part where I said it’d be shot in July? Well it was.

Help! My Lawn Ornament’s Been Taken by ROBBERS! was filmed yesterday, and I’ve got some still photographs as you can see.

The shooting went surprisingly well, and we remained on schedule (more or less) the entire day. And, beyond and better than that, I believe we all had fun. Here’s a list of things we did:

1) We cooked a money omelette.

2) Blood explosion? Blood explosion.

3) Map licking in Storage Space 51.

4) We Killed a Lawn Ornament.

**5) Shot a Camera into a speeding car as a Robber made his escape*.**

So it was rather eventful. Stay tuned for the actual movie, as I’ll be working on editing it as much as I can during the upcoming month. Thank you, and good night.

*Hyperbole used to quicken the tempo of space-time.

Eggisode 12

Vv — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:26:19 +0000

Wherein Vvinni Cooks: AN EGG.