Embedded above, for your enjoyment, is the new hit smash from Nick Vogt.  Remember Nick Vogt?  Well he makes music, too, and this one’s about that very special day where everything’s a Love Themepark.  Enjoy.

I feel that this might be one of the tightest films Culbert has made, although you can view many others by looking at the Naculbrionic Vimeo page.  He’s also the one who brought us the documentary into the life of Evan Bustria, filmmaker (?), Creeper, and Globetrotter.

Also, here’s one that I’m in.

Culbert has a specific voice in all of his works, and that certainly gets in the way of comprehension at points, however considering that the most recent film he’s done is Manifest Destiny, I think he’s certainly improving and growing beyond general film school fair.  So keep it going, Mr. Culbert. I’m fighting for you with laser beams and robo-boots.

Also, he did the epic tale of MANCATTE:

Also see Jules Vern.

The answer I always give these people is: “I’m sorry, I think you have me mistaken for someone else, please let me finish walking my dog now”.  But if they persist, I give them the name Evan Bustria.  He has two eyes and speaks fluent French (and by “fluent”, I mean I never aksed), but he does drive a zeppelin and he does fight crime.

Those of my seven readers who are adventurous may have visited Mr. Bustria’s old blogsite, How Do I Work This?, wherein he chronicles such pains as making a cartoon man run, the killdozer, and everyone’s favorite The Room.  Those same adventurers may have been disappointed, as I was, by Evan’s discontinuing of his blog.  I have good news, friends, for Evan Bustria has joined the ranks on what is swiftly becoming a “Superblog”: The Blog of Ronald Metallus.

For those of you who don’t know Evan, which I suppose is most of you, I believe you will find that Mr. Bustria has a great deal of finesse and eloquence to articles as varied as Hated Films and Hated Critics to Meth and Pancake Houses (although he has yet to write on the connection between Meth and Pancake Houses).  But why listen to me, let me share with you some of his work:

METH

Ashley Anderson

Armond White

Still hungry for more Bustria?  Aren’t we all.  Well here’s a documentary on Evan, done by fellow filmmaker William P. Culbert.  Here you see Evan Film, and Creep, and Drink, and Video-Game.

And so there you are: Evan Bustria.  Keep on looking at his work, why don’t you?  Because if you don’t, I’m going to hop into a Mad-Max style bus and ram into your house multiple times.  And if you live in a high-rise apartment?  Well, let’s just say I’ve got access to materials.  Materials that are helicopters.

Ronald U. Metellus? NO.

Ron first came to the internet as the Emperor of Ice Cream, however sadly Ice Cream Land was thrown into chaos when a military coup, calling themselves the Waffle Alliance, overthrew the Emperor in order to restore the old “Republic of Frozen Yoghurt”.  But, if you wish to reminisce about the glory days of the empire and read/look at several ice cream related things, go ahead.  You MIGHT recognize a name of someone who has two ice cream related posts.  Because that person MIGHT have his own rarely-read blog.

Ron has escaped the ice cream land, and has taken over a small south pacific domain nation that he has renamed “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”. He is joined by the Chief of Fire Safety Nick Vogt (I’m also pretty sure he’s the head of Metellus Islands’ military [read: shaolin warriors]) and master of Mysticism Rex Horner (who is also probably also in charge of Propaganda).  Together these three, this triptych, form a blog that reaches through television, football, popular culture, esoteric Santa Fe-related references, and the Ghost Zone of the forgotten 90′s.

The Isle of Metellus, even though it was started in September, already has a sizable number of Citizen-Posts nearly living up to Mr. Ronald G. Metellus’ claim that on the “Ronblog”, as it is known, you can learn something new everyday.

Just in case you can’t read through my mixed metaphors and grammatical errors, I will share with you now some of the things I’ve learned on the “Ronblog” or on the “Isle of Metellus” or on the “The Blog of Ronald Metellus” or on the “Not The Emperor of Ice Cream Because THOSE BASTARDS TRIED TO KILL ME Blog”:

JCVD: One of the years best?

X-Files: A Ghost. A Ghost… of christmas?

Spacemen: They’re music now?

Evan Bustria: Filmmaker, or creepy guy?

Suspira: SpooOOooky?

Dollhouse: Another Cancelled Masterpiece?

Ronald Q. Metellus: Does he really like colons?

In a similar train of thought: Does he have Colon cancer?

These are questions that can be answered in the land of Ronald Metellus. It is a magical land, and perhaps you should visit it.  They have a pretty great tourism bureau. It’s run by a flamingo. A Flamingo that’s also… A RUSSIAN SPY?! Yes. And if you don’t visit it, that flamingo will fight you. And that flamingo is ME. Except I don’t run the tourism bureau. And… and I’m not a Russian Spy.  But I can still poison you with Uranium.

Nevertheless, it’s a neat photo-blog of horrible monstrosities some call food.  It has brought some such things as the Hot Pocket Sandwhich, Velveeta Fudge, Deep Fried Bacon Encrusted Pork Rinds, and of course the Taco Burger.  If you like terrible food like I know I do, then you should check it out.  If you don’t, I can’t fight you over it, but I can SPITE you.  I can spite you with a knife of silence and the poison of shame.

Recently a new item was posted on This is Why You’re Fat, an item that needs the harsh green light of the internet shining on it.  Some call it “El Niño”, Some a product of human ingenuity, some mankind’s downfall.  I’ll let you be the judge.

We Did It.

Just in case you can’t tell, That’s ground beet, onions, sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheddar cheese wrapped up inside of a pepperoni pizza.  It weighs three pounds.  It costs one life.

Some may say a SUPERman.

Nick’s actually got three (that’s right THREE) blogs out there in the internet cloud, each of which provide a bit of insight into the very fascinating mind of Nicholas P. Vogt (Note: “P” may not actually be his middle name).  He doesn’t make movies, so I can’t show you clips, and I don’t think I can find any of his written work online (he’s a creative writing student). So instead, I will enhance this post with pertinent illustrations.

Ras Putin

Nick’s first blog is over now, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it. It’s title is World Heroes.  It’s about the ongoing battle between good and evil, it’s about superheroes and supervillains, it’s about Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it’s about Disease and Junot Diaz.  What’s interesting about this blog, and in fact most of Nick’s blog, is how all of these themes intertwine like a complicated series of rivers, each flowing into and branching off one another to create a portrait of someone with very unique, but very well-defined tastes. World Heroes was for a class, and as such it is somewhat defined by exploring Superheroism and Villainism.  Due to this loose definition, it has been discontinued and Nick has moved on to…

NOT Elijah, but perhaps an Uncle.

Awesome Town! No, Nick isn’t the mayor of Awesome Town (after all, The Mayor is evil), but he IS the chief of fire safety.  Awesome town is Nick’s personal blog, and so he posts on any idea that pops into his head, and there are a lot of ideas that pop into his head.  There are only seven posts on the blog, so it’s short, but he just started posting on it again, focusing on Lemurs.  Specifically one named Elijah, who may or may not be a reincarnation of Buddah in Lemur form.  Awesome Town hasn’t been updating very often, but when it does it’s usually worth checking out.

Nick’s final blog is apparently a partnership with one Ronald Metellus, Emperor of Ice Cream (Whom I shall fight for at another time).  I’m not exactly sure what Nick will be posting on this new blog, entitled of course “The Blog of Ronald Metellus”.  But, he’s got a post there and he might have more. So check it out maybe?

Nick also has a radio show. I’m not sure what it is, or where it is, or how it is, but I know it exists. And, consarnnit isn’t that what matters?  Also, if you Tweet, you can Tweet with him at NicholasVogt. I occaisonally read it, and I find it entertaining.

The Green Lantern

Nick’s tastes range from Marvel Comics to Hip Hop to Animals to Food to Nicholas Cage, and he is a friend. He is a SUPERfriend.  So check him out, none of his blogs are very long. And if you don’t? Then I’ll fire at you with my gigantic SuperLaser located within the Hubble Telescope. Yes, I have control over it. I have control over a lot of things.

End Transmission.

Now it’s got a new name, and it also has a trailer. So watch it, maybe? Because this was my month of July.

The Film was directed by Andrew Gingerich, written by him and partially by me and a whole bunch of other people, and it’ll be out spring/summer 2010.

The comic is rather good, although they don’t update when they say they will, and that is upsetting. However, they do things like this to make up for it.

He really is. It's the eyes.

See? That’s nice, isn’t it? Also, I’ve got a guest comic up on the Tea Time Site right now. So if nothing else check that out and let me know how it is. 

And yes, I took that image without permission. What’s your point? Class action lawsuit? I’d like to see you try. I… I can FIGHT with… I can FIGHT WITH A BEAR. And… and the bear is like a cannon.

And he also co-directed and wrote another movie, which I cannot post but I can give you the website.

16 Heads and Counting

He’s also an award-winning screenwriter, an amateur stand-up comedian, and a man who writes strange stories about squirrels. He updates the blog in waves, and currently he hasn’t for a while. However, I feel a change coming, and something new and exciting shall come.

So, Ethan’s a neat guy. A neat guy with low self esteem. And if you don’t think he’s neat?

Well then I’ll see you at dawn with pistols.

I’m going to take your silence as a “Yes”.

So, this one is about Andrew Gingerich, head of Exploding Goldfish Films.  What does Exploding Goldfish Films do? Well a little bit of this:

And some of this:

And let’s not forget this:

Aside from making movies and talking about making movies, on the EXG films blog you can also find some other movie reviews, some discussions on filmmaking in general, and some nice little quips about life as a film student/independent filmmaker. And, unlike me, a good deal of what he has to say is very intelligent and precise, and he actually HAS something to say, unlike me.  So check him out why don’t you? Because if you don’t, I will fight you. With a sword. On fire. The sword, not me. Will be on fire. And I can start sentence with whatever word I want to. Earthworm bakes the pie.