“Around them, down through ravines, and then along their edges, up the stony, earthy  sides of the gorges, until at length they halted as they believed in the very heart  of this wild looking place. “Here we are!” said Howard. “I don’t see how we can advance much further without going out to the other side.” “It’s the qua’rest sight I iver looked upon,” said Tim, turning round and round, meaning the wild scenery. ”But there is nothing learned of Elwood.” “Niver a sign do I saa of the youngster,” rejoined Tim. “I graive to think we cannot be near him.” “We have gone on the wrong track.” “I’m a feared so.” ”Too bad, too bad,” wailed Howard, “what is to come of the poor fellow?” “But we can’t till,” hastily added Tim, “do yees put your fingers in your mouth and give that jolly little whistle.” Howard Lawrence was in the very act of doing so when his arm was suddenly arrested by his companion, who, with an exclamation of surprise pointed to a ledge of rocks above them. CHAPTER XL. THE END OF THE SEARCH.  About a hundred and fifty feet above them, almost perpendicularly upward, stood an antelope, its small neck outstretched, and its dark, beautiful eyes fixed upon them with a wondering expression. It was on the very edge of a projecting rock where one step more would ….”

Would what? Perhaps I shall never know, and this is sad. Also in the e-mail was this wavy ad for experimental medications:

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

And that’s how one shows alchemy and the four classical elements through packaging and tapes.  But let’s take a closer look at this, shall we?

The outer box is, of course, the philosopher’s stone, rumored to grant immortality to those who possessed it.  Besides that, there are four tapes, one tape per element.

Tape of Fire:  Perhaps the most obvious one, tape of fire was surrounded in ashen paper and sealed with a salamander (the animal of fire).  And, yes Andrew, that WAS blood.  But it wasn’t real blood, this is because the humour that was most associated with fire in Medieval medicine was blood.  Tape of fire was inscribed with the symbol for “Salamander” and an upward oriented triangle, and the tape itself was a tennis tape: because tennis is firey and competitive.  As for how I “treated” the tape, it should be pretty clear: It covered it in lighter fluid and I BURNED IT. Oh, and to make sure that the wrapping would stay on I put the wrapped package in an oven for some seconds.

Tape of Water:  Perhaps the tape that took the longest to prepare, tape of water was mostly sealed with papers covered in water and glue and sealed with a manatee (The creature of water is technically an Undine, which is basically a mermaid.  So, I figured a manatee was basically a mermaid).  Tape of Water is the first tape opened in the film, it was inscribed with an Undine symbol and a downward facing triangle, and the tape itself was a Yoga tape (Because Yoga is smooth and fluid).  I “Treated” the tape by firstly submerging it in water for a couple of days.  After that, the taped was continuously frozen and thawed over a period of a week. Then, I took the block of ice that the tape was frozen in, and dropped it into a pot of boiling water.

Tape of Air: Perhaps the most difficult tape to conceptualize, after all how to give something “air damage” without the aid of a wind tunnel?  I decided a microwave was a good thing, and so I used it, after all the microwave works by manipulating the air around an object.  Aside from microwaving it I also smoked it, but that only gave it a strange yellow coloring.  I covered the tape with aerosol glue (hence the stickiness) and sealed it with a Quetzal (the creature of air is the sprite, so I figured a quetzal was a good spritely bird).  It was inscribed with an upward facing triangle bisected by a line, and the symbol for Saturn: Planet of Air.

Tape of Earth: The functional tape.  I decided Earth would be the real tape, because sealing it in a block of clay wouldn’t harm the tape but would be difficult to open.  It was sealed with mud and a Scarab Beetle (The creature for Earth is a dwarf, so… Scarab?).  It was inscribed with a downward pointing triangle bisected with a line and (MOST IMPORTANTLY) a protection rune against dark magics and telepathy.  I figured this would help us out during the shipping process, Andrew.  Aside from sealing the tape in a block of clay, I also covered the tape with aluminum foil (with the classical Chinese elements, Earth was replaced with the element of metal) in order to keep the tape from being damaged as the clay dried.

Oh, and you were wondering what you did to me to deserve this, Andrew?  You hurt my feelings. Try not to do that again.

If you don’t remember, then here’s a recap:

And now, here’s my reply (I recommend watching it full screen):

And now, here’s me overanalyzing and explaining:

“Happy Birthday Murderer” was about death.  This was the stone that I began my ideation process off of: What comes after death?  Well, to that I had one answer: Resurrection.  And what is an ongoing symbol for resurrection?  The Philosopher’s Stone.

However, along with resurrection and alchemy, I also wanted to explore the theme of multiplicity, which was certainly present in “Happy Birthday Murderer”, and I also feel it was present in the other three works of THE TAPE.  So, multiplicity+resurrection= The four classical elements.  My overall working point for this new web (in case you wondering “Copyright Infringement” was the theme and inspiration for the title of “In Fridge”. I have given away the secret). In order to explore the four classical elements, I broke each down into an exploration of a thematic portion of THE TAPE. Let’s take a look at that.

FIRE: I told you you weren’t the only one who could make soup, Andrew.  Except “No Chicken With Onions”, the calcuttan dish, is NOT A SOUP.  My feelings were hurt when Andrew cooked my package, showing a disregard to something I put a lot of time into and was very proud of.  I understand that Andrew did this because, in order to get “In Fridge” on THE TAPE I had to tape over “I Got The Poops” (Boulder’s dubbing facilities sucked, like many things), but it still hurt my feelings.  So, I devoted one entire element to the cooking and eating of package elements from the Hard-drive and the Perfectly Ordinary Box.  It was cooking, it was vengeful, and it was angry. Fire.

AIR: How best to represent Air?  Sound, which is something I feel Andrew’s pieces have had a bit of, but “In Fridge” was lacking.  So, I took an oral examine for my French class last semester and started editing it.  One of the ideas that I’ll explore later is that “Happy Birthday Murderer” was a film about me.  So, in return “Powerful Magics” had to be a film about Andrew.  Thus, I took his narration from Shrimpocalypse! which included some fun extras like “FooOOOooOOtbaaaaall PraaAAAaaaAAAActice”.  Finally, I also had Nepetalactone by Venetian Snares.  ”In Fridge” introduced the idea of “leit motif” (that’s film language for “A repeated musical theme”).  I decided to take this idea, and have a techno breakdown in the middle of the film.

WATER: Water was found footage.  I may have had reasoning behind this. “Happy Birthday Murderer” introduced actors, namely Landyn Banx.  I decided I’d use a common actor, and I took Landyn’s demo reel from youtube.  In “Happy Birthday Murderer” Andrew used footage from All The Presidents Men, an inspiration to him.  I decided that I would use footage from “The Room” in my reply to him.  I also wanted to bring back the cat motif we’ve established in the other two pieces, but was absent from “Happy Birthday Murderer”, both because I enjoy this motif and because THE CHOPSTICK CAT IS ADORABLE! Also, there’s the popular YouTube video/meme that’s been common since “I Got The Poops”.  I had my footage, and yet I was still missing something.  Fortunately, I had one other reference to Mr. Gingerich: 16 Heads and Counting.  How’d I get the footage?  Well, I did some sound editing for it, and due to my paranoid thinking that he may need the footage back, I’ve kept it all these years.  Finally, the photo of me from “Happy Birthday Murderer” was taken from promotional stills from 16 Heads (which also starred Landyn Banx, see the connection?).  I took Andrew’s promotional still from that very same photo shoot. Thank you Facebook.

EARTH: The only other reply to “Happy Birthday Murderer” that I had to address was the interviews.  Well, I don’t think “Happy Birthday Murderer” was an adequate response to “In Fridge”, mainly because I don’t think Andrew put as much work into it as I did mine and he did “I Got The Poops”.  This is understandable, as he’s editing together a Political epic, but I still wanted to make sure he knew I was calling his bluff.  So, I had people criticize his film.  After all, this was a movie about Andrew.  Also, over December (when Andrew was busy bettering the world and working on a nobel cause) I was housesitting for the Gingerich’s.  I’m sorry that I took advantage of this and filmed without your permission, Andrew, but….

So there we have it.  I could say plenty more about this film, but I don’t want to.  I have a headache.  But I CAN say more about the packaging, but must wait for another time.

So, I coated a notecard in receipts, then glazed it in honey and baked it in an oven. Here’s what it ended up looking like!

Yes, I sent this to an Italian Doctor.

Fun Fact: Receipts loose their ink when exposed to heat.  Also, note the Pirate Gold!

Thenvolope.

I looked down at the blood-covered doctors coat I was wearing. I should never have agreed to this. I should never had let my guard down.

Now they are dead. They are dead, and I am the murderer. It is also my birthday.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a Man who has been pushed over the edge.  And someone has just eaten my package.  A storm is coming, friends, and that storm is me.

A few stray observations on the “Murderer” package:

1) The boxes are getting larger.

2) We still have the inclusion of YouTube videos.

3) Whats this? Actors? ACTORS and SPECIAL FILMING?!

4) Ah, yes, still with the popular songs, I see?

5) Thank you for the homage.

6) You’re not the only one who can make soup.

And thus begins a new web to be woven.  What was on that most mysterious video tape?  Oh, well you shall know in due time.  For now, let’s just say it’s a birthday wish. A very special birthday wish.

I received I Got the Poops in a sealed hard drive encasement.

I did not have a hard drive encasement, so what kind of devious package could I send the tape back to Andrew in?

How I made it.

Well, what I DID have was a few boxes, some mailing envelopes, stacks upon stacks of old time magazines, and Netflix flaps that I’d be recycling.  I also had a motif I was working with for the entirety of this piece (including In Fridge).  Thus, I got to work creating what can be described as a complicated web of papers and lies.  I shall now go backwards, starting with the tape.

The tape itself came to me with no blemishes and no markings. I returned it that way.

I placed the tape within a small white mailing envelope.  But just having it inside of the envelope would be too easy, so I glued it shut.  But the glue didn’t stick, and even if it did, there was still something missing.  So, I decided to paint the Lyrics to the Beatles’ “Happiness is a Warm Gun” in black paint onto the envelope. Somehow, it seemed fitting.

When I received the tape, it was wrapped in Timecube®.  I went for a much more mainstream conspiracy theory, but one that’s gaining temporal significance.  I speak, of course, about 2012.  I didn’t have any paper, so I printed it onto some old worm drawings I had for a design project.

This has little to do with what is being discussed.

But the package was still too easy to open.  I needed to supply my own screwdriver to open mine, and what’s the point of sending a package if I want it to be opened?  My gaze turned to the box.  I had two of them, one of which I’d be using to send it.  But what about the other?  And the magazines? What could I do with them?

I could construct a complicated box-like cardboard skeleton out of the box, cut up the magazines and the Netflix pages (with some adjustments, of course) and boil them into a papier maché-like substance which I would then seal the tape into the structure with!  Of Course, it was so simple!

I had a box. I had a sculpture. And it fit into the other box.  Also I start sentences with prepositions.

Two Gods, Putin, a Flying Conchord...

But it was still all too easy, he just had to cut through some layers of paper.  What else could I do? Ah-ha! I could glue another cardboard “lid” over the complicated sculpture and glued it into the box.  I also sealed it in there with some of the remaining “paper soup” I used on the complicated box.  It created an interesting I-Spy effect, as if it were an I-Spy gone terribly terribly wrong.

After I also sealed half of a fork in there (I had to help Andrew out with opening the box, and I had a broken fork due to a faulty refrigerator).  So I taped up the box. I taped it all kinds of up, I also stapled instructions for creating the box to some extra cardboard and sealed it in a paper cocoon on the bottom.

You won't get one million dollars with the press of a button, though.

I then covered the whole thing with a paper bag, so as to make it look more mystical and presentable. I painted the addresses on, wrapped it in wire, and went off to send it.  Unfortunately the clerk at the mailing center told me that I couldn’t wrap the package in wire, what with computers and everything.  So I took the wire off, and sent it to Andrew.

“BUT VVINNI,” You yell at your computer’s screen, “WHAT WAS IT LIKE OPENING THE PACKAGE AFTER IT WAS MAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLED?!??!?!?!?????!”

Yes, Andrew recorded himself opening the package and uploaded it into the Internet cloud. He also took all the pictures you see on this post. Wasn’t that nice of him?

In writing a letter, you are given a series of statements and questions about yourself which you address in your reply.  For example The sender writes “Linda just gave birth to puppies. How’s your wife?” to which you reply “My wife IS Linda, what have you done to her you son-of-a-bitch!”.  I treated the video correspondence the same way.

I Got the Poops was the letter.

In Fridge is my reply.

I shall now discuss the motifs and ideas I decided to elaborate on.  This may be very pointless and self-indulgent. If you wish to skip this, be my guest. Also, if viewing this post on The Facebook, please visit the mothersite to see the video.

I Got the Poops presented me with the basic format: We first begin with a long segment to weed out those who may not actually be interested in viewing the work. In I Got the Poops it’s hand-processed 8mm film of people walking on the beach.  In In Fridge, it’s the interior of a refrigerator.  Of course, to the spectator it just appears as blackness.  About a minute of blackness.

This idea of terribly long things where nothing happens is a motif I continued throughout the piece, also seen in the minute of me staring at the camera (as the color grows ever so slightly redder) and the ongoing Mudkip exchange.  I also feel this was a motif in I Got the Poops, the segment I’ll call “The Alpha Cat Adjustment” takes it’s time, Andrew blinking in Night Vision is also drawn out, and who can forget the credits?  I feel I expanded on this, however that’s how correspondences work.

After the browsers have been taken out, it’s time for us to move into the meat of the piece, meaning YouTube videos.  Andrew decided to work with funny cat videos, specifically cat videos that are internet phenomena ranging from the horrible screaming demon cat to the cat who iterates “Oh Long Johnson, Oh Long Johnson, Oh Don Piano”.  I decided to focus on a different internet phenomena: Mudkip, the mud-fish pokèmon.  Why? Because I want to be the very best, that no one ever was. Catching monster is my quest, to train them is my cause.  However this wasn’t it, for I decided to explore this strange new world of YouTube.  I also included a Perry Grip music video with rodents, you know the one, as well as thirty minutes of Disney Films (Which I of course reduced to thirty seconds).

So, we have two motifs that I’ve identified thusfar: The motif of something terribly long and the motif of YouTube.  There is one final motif I want to point out:  Andrew stole my Adventures through Art School.  I returned the favor.  Many of you either may not know or may not remember, but Andrew himself had an unsuccessful vodcast many moons ago, much as I do now.  It was called “The Diary of a Mad Filmmaker”.  I decided that if I’d be making a diary of a mad filmmaker, I’d be mad. I’d be REALLY MAD. I’D BE JUMPING UP AND DOWN I’D BE SO MAD. Need I go on? No. Because you’ve seen the piece, and you’re probably not reading this unless you’re me.

Once we get through the weeding period and the montage of YouTube videos, we move on to the Chapters. I Got the Poops included three I believe, In Fridge contains ten.  One of the chapters in I Got The Poops didn’t work, but this works in to the overall stylistic difference between the two works, of which I will discuss later.

No, I will discuss it now, because I’m tired.

I Got The Poops was edited together in a way that showed extreme skill with Final Cut and the editing process, I believe.  This is reflective of Andrew’s overall technique, for he’s been working with Final Cut longer and more seriously than I have. I Got the Poops was also much more focused on sound design than In Fridge.  From the dripping water blinking to the much more developed Alpha Cat Adjust segment, I Got the Poops does show that the filmmaker is very technically savvy.

I am not technically savvy, and neither is In Fridge.  However, what I lack in technical knowledge I’d like to think I make up for in ideation and gusto.  I’d like to think that In Fridge has the same sort of Chaotic, Manic, Surrealistic (Almost Nihilistic) energy many of my other pieces have.  It has been said of some of my other work that if the world ended and all was left was that video, no one would need any explanation.  I’d like to think that In Fridge is the same way. But what do you think? Are either of them better or worse, or are they just different? What motifs and expansions have you noticed between the two works?  How do you Powder a steak in the 3rd Dimension?

AND HOW DID IN FRIDGE TRANSFER TO TAPE?  Well luckily this question I can answer, because there are now in fact TWO versions of In Fridge floating out there in the internet.  If you dare, watch it again. It’s gained a much different quality through the transfer.

I had the tape dubbed, however my journey was only half over.  For the TAPE itself is only the goose you quest for: You think it’ll be great, but really it’s kind of stinks and it’s loud.

I had to create a package.

I had to create a cage.

This last May I received a package.

The package was in a box, and in that box a hard drive encasement duck taped shut along with some little papers that read “No”. The hard drive had a series of sticky notes on it that, along with pictures of pigs and “FUCK!” the sticky notes told me I needed a screwdriver, which wasn’t included.

It was my mission to open the hard drive.

When opened, the encasement included thousands more of the “No” papers, and another duck taped parcel.  The duck tape covered diagrams explaining the Timecube® phenomena, and underneath the papers of madness there was a video tape.

A VHS tape.

A VHS tape with “I Got The Poops” on it.

A VHS tape that was the beginning to a video correspondence.

I have formulated a response to this monstrosity.

And that response is about to see the light of the internet.