If you’re like me, you wake up every morning and think to yourself “Being a mammal sucks, we can’t even grow scales”.  Then I have good news, my friends, behold the Pangolin:

The Pangolin’s name comes from the Malay word for “Something that rolls up”, and although it may appear to look like an Armadillo newer genetic evidence shows that they are closer to the Order Carnivora (which also includes cats, dogs, bears, hippos, and certain cat-monkey hybrids).

Pangolins are nocturnal burrowing mammals who feed primarily on ants and termites, which they eat using their sticky tongues (much like anteaters) after tearing the anthills open with their claws.  Pangolins have an extreme aptitude for problem solving, and although this aptitude is primarily used for foraging for food they are also known for being excellent escape artists.

My inextensive research told me nothing of the Pangolin's ability to stand up while on a tree.

Yet, no matter how great of an escape artist they are, Pangolins are threatened by smugglers and chefs who take them from all over the South Asian islands to China where they are killed for their meat.  Customs and wildlife officials have smuggled over 12 tons of Pangolin meat and thousands of live and frozen pangolins to be sold to China.  Pangolin scales are also known to be useful in medicine, and it has been told that they reduce swelling and promote blood circulation.  Pangolin scales, when mixed with certain African tree barks, are also known to protect against dark magics.

So keep on burrowing, Pangolin, unless you’re one of the arboreal species in which case keep on living in hollowed out trees.

Hello Pangolin!