Category Archives: Blogspeak

Henceblog Expose: THE FUTURE

  1. An Introduction

This is more for me than for any of you out there, but I think that applies to a lot of what I write here. But I’m beginning with an introduction, as one does, a means of letting you know what the deal is with this piece.  So here’s the deal:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.

I know that I need to get away from the lowly part-time jobs I’ve been working for the past few years, but I don’t know what.  So I’m figuring that out here.  And maybe you’ll read about it.  Otherwise, there are lots of great shows on television.

 

             2. The Past

This isn’t the first time I’ve been here.  I’ve had a lot of these experiences.  Crossroads.  “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood/and sorry that I could not take both/I decided just to walk in the middle of them and make a new road” something like that. Somehow , though, these decisions keep getting harder. Maybe that’s experience. Maybe that’s neuroses. Probably its both.  In the past these decisions have seemed clear.  I was going to work hard through high school so I could get into a good college.  I would go into film school because that was my dream and I needed to learn about film production if I wanted to pursue it. I wouldn’t look into graduate schools right out of my undergraduate degree so I could learn to freelance as my own filmmaker outside of school. I would move out of Santa Fe to Chicago because Chicago was a larger city with a lot of big productions coming through and a good independent film foundation so I would have no problem getting into the Union and working my way up.

These were all extensions of the central belief I’ve had that if I maintained a laser-focused goal of “Cinema Production” then I would be able to gradually achieve my dream of writing and directing film.  What, exactly, was “Cinema Production”?  That I kept open-ended: Grip, Art Department, Script Supervision, assistant directing, I could do anything so long as they needed it.  The problem is that I honestly don’t know how to get into those positions without Union representation or internships.

There are a lot of things I don’t know.  This is why I will no longer pursue “Cinema Production”

 

             3. Cinema

When I was in film school one thing became abundantly clear: I was an oddball.  The people around me had been making movies since they were three, they lived and worshipped in movie theaters, they had already seen a thousand movies and written critiques for all of them.  I was a theater kid who started making movies so that I could act more.

At least that’s the story I tell.

In truth, maybe I was meant for it.  For one thing, in a market so drenched in cinephelia it was nice to be the person who has still never seen “Jaws” and doesn’t really mind it all that much.  “I’d rather make a movie than watch a movie” was my mantra throughout film school. And film does hold a special place in my heart: I have a fond memory of my mother picking up my sister and I up from school early.
“We’re doing something special today, kids.  Today we’re seeing Star Wars!
It was incredible.  Even more so because we didn’t see movies, especially “new” movies int he theater, all that often.  But we saw all three of the Star Wars re-releases.

When I first began making movies it was also a joyous experience.  Back then it was gathering a bunch of friends together and making something silly.  Back then I didn’t have to worry about script themes, color schemes, character POV, 180 degree rule, 30 degree rule, canted angles, J-cuts, S-cuts, piece length, story flow, sound quality, mic positioning, color grade, and roughly one thousand and fifty-six other things.  It’s not that this greater understanding detracts from my enjoyment of creating a film or from my ideas on film.  In fact, I still very much enjoy making a movie and playing with a lot of these rules.  However all of these worries makes the process much longer, much more complicated, and much more defendant on other people.

But I still want to make movies.

At least that’s the story I tell.

             4. Writing

Before I was a filmmaker, before I was an actor, before I was a depressed waiter, I was a writer.  I was a writer and a storyteller.  I now wonder if I should have stuck with it longer.  For some reason, even in college when most of my friends were in the Creative Writing Program, I didn’t think to pursue writing.  Or rather, all my writing was done in script form.  Now – and for the past five years- I’ve only been able to write, and I’ve expanded beyond scripts.  Now pursuing writing short fiction and novels seems like something at least on par with my other wackadoo plans like continuing to make movies or go into voice acting.  To be clear: I do not expect to be a great author or really any sort of author, but I feel it’s something I should try.

What then of writing?  What then of telling stories?  Answering the second question first: I’ll still tell stories. That’s something that can’t be taken away.  So then that leaves us with writing and Plan B: Teaching.  If I enjoy reading and writing so much, why not teach it?  I was never very good at English during my school days, but what I’ve learned in my limited time as an unlicensed teacher is that not having been good in a subject may help you be a good teacher.  The real question is: Is being an English Teacher something I would be passionate about?  I don’t think so.  Creative writing, and even word and sentence structure is something I’d be interested in.  But reading through countless essays and reports?  That seems like something initially tolerable – fun even- that would get very old very fast.  So writing- my writing- I believe it’s time to expand outward and look for new outlets for publishing and distribution.  Teaching English, though, is a “no”.

             5. Art

My mother is an Artist: Fine arts (always a strange distinction to make) and my Sister and I grew up with a whole bunch of Art projects.  I myself wanted to be a cartoonist for a long time, and why I never pursued it is a whole other story, but now I no longer draw or paint, though I’ve done design work (as is witnessed on this very website) and some multi-media gallery work as well.  So it is that I still consider myself an artist, and like being a storyteller this is something ingrained.  At some point in my life I may have been able to have been swayed away, but that point would have been before I spent 4 years and a lot of heartbreak in Art School.

If I still consider myself an artist, then why don’t I become an Art Teacher?  It’d be K-12, but that’s the [massive] range that I have experience in (OK, K-3 for teaching Minecraft and Lego robotics and 6-8 for teaching math, but….).  Also, once I get a certification I’ll more likely than not be teaching in Chicago, and although it’s a lie that every school in Chicago is full of violence and crime, I’ve heard plenty of horror stories of schools in the far west side to fuel my mother’s concern for me going into urban education.  But these horror stories are what keeps me interested in teaching Art, because after all Art is a way to channel energy and communicate ideas and come into self-discovery.  This is something all kids need, in good schools and very much so in bad schools.  And, yes, it will be difficult.  Life is difficult.  I believe this would make the difficulty worth it.  Plus, with a Bachelor’s in Film and a teaching certification in Art I would still be plenty qualified if ever I came across any K-12 classes film classes, and maybe even some Community Colleges.  So, all in all, I’d say that this sounds like a good plan.  For now.

             6. Conclusion

Lot’s has been said and many stories have been written.  That’s why we have conclusions, though, to conclude.  So here it is:

-The best course of action is to go and get my teacher’s certification in Art.  Is it what I thought I’d be doing when I went to film school?  Oh, God no.  But I don’t mind it.  In fact, I think it’ll be a good career.  A trying one, a difficult one, an underfunded one, but a good one.

-I am not quitting making movie.  Nor am I quitting writing, or improv, or voice acting.  I will continue to do my art on the side as I have these past five/six years.  But neither of those options are going to be paying my rent any time soon and it’s due at the first of every month.

– In another 5 years I will be wondering what I’m doing with my life. Again.  After that?  Maybe I’ll start selling used cars.  Or open a Bead and Breakfast in the Upper Michigan Peninsula.

This is the story I tell.

150 Pokémon

 

  1. Chardinal: The Vegetable-Bird Pokemon
  2. Awrengula: The Salad-Bird Pokemon
  3. Cukale: The Super-green Pokemon
  4. Lavra: The Magma-worm Pokemon
  5. Coalcoon: The charred cocoon Pokemon
  6. Mothma: The Moth-to-a-flame Pokemon
  7. Shrimptide!: The Just-a-shrimp Pokemon
  8. Prawnwave!: The Just-a-Prawn Pokemon
  9. Lobstrodon!: The Lobster-dragon Pokemon
  10. Nimphie: The Nymph Pokemon
  11. Exuviber: The Worm-in-the-stone Pokemon
  12. Dagronflee: The Dragonfly Pokemon
  13. Meggit: The Gross Pokemon
  14. Poopuh: The Hidden Pokemon
  15. Flyhammer: The Noisy Fly Pokemon
  16. Maggi: The Magpie Pokemon
  17. Magpol: The Collection Pokemon
  18. Magthief: The Shiny Thief Pokemon

Starters

  1. Rattaboy: The Cowboy-Mouse Pokemon
  2. Sherrat: The Cowboy-Universe Pokemon
  3. Filletven: The Sharp-billed Pokemon
  4. Terraven: The Fear-Monger Pokemon
  5. Retrag: The Harmless Snake Pokemon
  6. Relttar: The Harmful Snake Pokemon
  7. Primechu: The Crossover Pokemon
  8. Omegachu: The Coming-Storm Pokemon
  9. Dustshrew: The Cowboy-Mouse Pokemon
  10. Outshrew: The Outlaw-Cowboy Pokemon
  11. Echmy: The Spiny Rat Pokemon
  12. Bizarech: The Bizarro-Echmy Pokemon
  13. Echmevil: The Evil Echmy Pokemon
  14. Echsteel: The Robot Echmy Pokemon
  15. Grichmy: The  Dark Echmy Pokemon
  16. Myche: The Sideways Echmy Pokemon
  17. Trefairy: The Dark Fairy Pokemon
  18. Trefable: The Grim Fairy Pokemon

Flykemon

  1. Bubblemander: The Inverse-Charmander Pokemon
  2. Bubbmeleon: The Inverse-Charmeleon Pokemon
  3. Bubblizard: The Inverse-Charizard Pokemon
  4. Jujupu: The Weirdly-Omnipresent Pokemon
  5. Boobat: The Cave-Bat Pokemon
  6. Bloodbat: The Super-bat Pokemon
  7. Weirdtato: The Strange-Potato Pokemon
  8. Sadanum: The Wild-Potato Pokemon
  9. Spuddle: The Super-Potato Pokemon
  10. Proras: The Hero-Paras Pokemon
  11. Paramore: The Great-Parasect Pokemon
  12. Nosquito: The Mosquito Pokemon
  13. Moresquito: The Greater Mosquito Pokemon
  14. Primelet: The Primal Diglett Pokemon
  15. Dugmega: The Last Diglett Pokemon
  16. Sparkasaur: The Fire-Bulbasaur Pokemon
  17. Embersaur: The Fire-Ivysaur Pokemon
  18. Infernosaur: The Fire-Venusaur Pokemon

Bulbasaurs

  1. Purpoot: The Coot Psychic Pokemon
  2. Tomoren: The Mustache-Monkey Pokemon
  3. Tomoroon: The Mustache-Fighter Pokemon
  4. Sailorkie: The Ship-Dog Pokemon
  5. Schipperie: The Captain-Dog Pokemon
  6. Toadpool: The Flame-Tadpole Pokemon
  7. Toadwhirl: The Flame-Tadpole Pokemon
  8. Toadwrath: The Flame-Tadpole Pokemon
  9. Smoken: The Illusion Pokemon
  10. Meer: The Illusion Pokemon
  11. Alakazaar: The Traveller Pokemon
  12. Hitguy: The Hitting Pokemon
  13. Punchman: The Punching Pokemon
  14. Pummeldude: The Pummeling Pokemon
  15. Belligari: The Expressionist-Flower Pokemon
  16. Nosferbell: The Expressionist-Flycather Pokemon
  17. Laughinbell: The Expressionist-Flycatcher Pokemon
  18. Tendrang: The Gloomy Jellyfish Pokemon

Echm1

  1. Tendoom: The Man-of-War Pokemon
  2. Plebble: The Pebble Pokemon
  3. Stonelyte: The Stone Pokemon
  4. Bouldord: The Living Boulder Pokemon
  5. Sproutle: The Grass-Squirtle Pokemon
  6. Growtortle: The Grass-Wartortle Pokemon
  7. Grasstoise: The Grass-Blastoise Pokemon
  8. Slowrant: The Tyrant Pokemon
  9. Lazor: The Cyber Universe Pokemon
  10. Cybor: The Cyber Universe Pokemon
  11. Bizz’r: The Bizarro-Farfetch’d Pokemon
  12. Kiwone: The Singularity Bird Pokemon
  13. Doomdrio: The Evil Bird Pokemon
  14. Slodge: The Toxic Pokemon
  15. Slodgarro: The Bizarro-Slodge Pokemon
  16. Slumdge: The Dark-Slodge Pokemon
  17. Slydg: The Cyber-Slodge Pokemon
  18. Eglods: The Sideways-Slodge Pokemon
  19. Kokodgomon: Slodge-616 Pokemon

Echm2

  1. Ghoosty: The Spooky Pokemon
  2. Ghoolie: The Spooky Pokemon
  3. Bumpsenite: The Spookiest Pokemon
  4. Luminix: The Light-Worm Pokemon
  5. Wisper: The Sideways-Haunter Pokemon
  6. Goodgar: The Benevolent Gengar Pokemon
  7. Crabtain: The Pirate-Crab Pokemon
  8. Voltblade: The Electric Pirate Pokemon
  9. Atomicor: The Destroyer Pokemon
  10. Atomicull: The Destroyer Pokemon
  11. Eggspert: The Brilliant Egg Pokemon
  12. Moonsprout: The Night-Bloom Pokemon
  13. Shadeleaf: The Night-Bloom Pokemon
  14. Skullcapp: The Night-Bloom Pokemon
  15. Sasalomon: The Universe 616 Pokemon
  16. Wawa: The Mouth Pokemon
  17. Blabla: The Talking Pokemon
  18. Arsick: The Food Poisoning Pokemon
  19. Ollace: The Poisoned Pokemon

Jujupu

  1. Rutice: The Ice-Beetle Pokemon
  2. Rutidicicle: The Ice-Beetle Pokemon
  3. Eggvil: The Bad Egg Pokemon
  4. Wiregla: The Firewire Pokemon
  5. Squroot: The Math Pokemon
  6. Bizarticuno: The Bizarro-Articuno Pokemon
  7. Bizapados: The Bizarro-Zapados Pokemon
  8. Bizoltres: The Bizarro-Moltres Pokemon
  9. Koing: The Sea-Lord Pokemon
  10. Pretreastar: The Sea Star Pokemon
  11. Protreastar: The Sea Star Pokemon
  12. Et: The Evil Clown Pokemon
  13. Mantinant: The Bug Lord Pokemon
  14. Rhizogoing: The Single-Cell Pokemon
  15. Rhizogone: The Single-Cell Pokemon
  16. Cragmar: The Canyon-Magmar Pokemon
  17. Volichen: The Volcano-Lichen Pokemon
  18. Bulldonk: The Stupid Bull Pokemon

Psychics

  1. Magikill: The Evil Magikarp Pokemon
  2. Gyradont: The Useless Pokemon
  3. Swimswam: The Turtle-Dragon Pokemon
  4. Wurmol: The Wormhole Pokemon
  5. Bizarreon: The Bizarro-Eevee Pokemon
  6. Cybereon: The Cyber-Eevee Pokemon
  7. Sideon: The Sideways-Eevee Pokemon
  8. Grimoireon: The Gritty-Eevee Pokemon
  9. Eevil: The Evil-Eevee Pokemon
  10. Brakio: The Burrowed Shell Pokemon
  11. Brakambria: The Burrowed Shell Pokemon
  12. Zyloh: The Vascular Plant Pokemon
  13. Floe: The Vascular Plant Pokemon
  14. Bizarrachu: The Bizarro Universe Pikachu
  15. Evilchu: The Evil Universe Pikachu
  16. Gritchu: The Dark Universe Pikachu

Legendary

  1. Cyberchu: The Cyber Universe Pikachu
  2. Sidechu: The Sideways Universe Pikachu
  3. Zuruchu: The 616 Universe Pikachu
  4. Tyrohite: The 248 Pokemon
  5. Remew: The Renewal Pokemon
  6. Mewowth: The Villain Pokemon

100 Things

This makes Post 100 for the renewed Henceblog.  Way to go.  As a way to celebrate, to fulfill one of the requests for 100 lists, and for our first list of the new year I give you a list of 100 things. Here we go:

  1. Porcupines
  2. Pineapples
  3. Quetzalcoatl
  4. New Hampshire
  5. Film Noir
  6. Nor’easter
  7. Ungulates
  8. Ocelots
  9. Origami
  10. Epsom Salts
  11. Gargoyles
  12. Calcium
  13. Iodine
  14. Nickle
  15. Dime
  16. Holograms
  17. Holographs
  18. Orpheus
  19. Pie Chart
  20. Bats
  21. Rhubarb
  22. Sandbox
  23. Moscato
  24. Goats
  25. Moats
  26. Trouts
  27. Loam
  28. Nimbus
  29. Quimby
  30. Hellhound
  31. Faraday cage
  32. Volcano
  33. Vacuum
  34. Vole
  35. Voracity
  36. Vanadium
  37. Vishnu
  38. Vuvuzela
  39. Venture capitalism
  40. Vowel
  41. Valium
  42. Vibe
  43. Verb
  44. Vascular dystrophy
  45. Mind
  46. Herb
  47. Xylem
  48. Phloem
  49. Typhus
  50. Rome
  51. Nome
  52. Gnome
  53. Roam
  54. Woebegotten
  55. Horse-and-buggy
  56. Exsanguination
  57. Unicycle
  58. Divination
  59. Horology
  60. Ailurophobia
  61. Wyvern
  62. Monomania
  63. Dementia
  64. Rodentia
  65. Rhodesian Ridgeback
  66. Alpha-numerals
  67. Beta particles
  68. Sinusoids
  69. Hibiscus
  70. Portal
  71. Yoyos
  72. Mothers
  73. Eateries
  74. Fathers
  75. Paperbacks
  76. Flapjacks
  77. Olive branches
  78. White House Hacks
  79. Quails
  80. Quarrels
  81. Quarries
  82. Quilts
  83. Blast doors
  84. Bunnies
  85. Borax
  86. Belts
  87. Sticks
  88. Stones
  89. Broken Bones
  90. Welts
  91. Wends
  92. Welsh Corgis
  93. Wordsworth
  94. Squirrel Monkeys
  95. Hamsters
  96. Cenobites
  97. Jormungandr
  98. Yak
  99. Opal
  100. Gak

The 2015 Ten

I don’t much care for Top 10 lists.  Personally, as I’ve said before, I find it immensely difficult to compare a movie that’s seriously flawed but enjoyable with a film that’s technically enthralling but narratively lacking with good clean genre fun.  How can you claim that any one of those films are “better” than the other, and why do we even feel the need to make film viewership into a contest?  Added on top of this all is the fact that I don’t see very many new movies- I can’t afford them.

So instead of giving you a Top 10 list of movies this year, I’m giving you the ten movies that I’ve seen this year that- for better or for worse- have stuck out to me.  These Ten movies, in no particular order, are:

  1. Coherence (2013): A really fascinating science fiction film about parallel universes with Xander from Buffy in it. One of my favorites I’ve seen this year.

  2. Kafka (1991): Surprisingly biographical.  Even though it’s doubtful Kafka ever stumbled upon a hidden giant brain workshop, the piece manages to capture the personage of its subject. Bravo Soderbergh.

  3. Bridge of Spies (2015): A very confused movie.  Half Coen Brothers tragicomedy, half serious Spielberg history.  A good non-offensive movie to watch with family and say “That certainly was a movie” afterwards.

  4. Willow Creek (2013): A found-footage horror movie that tries its best to answer some meta-filmic questions about the genre and packs in a few scares.  Now to justify the existence of the found-footage horror genre.

  5. Journey to the West (2013): I am two years behind of everything. A Steven Chow film that doesn’t reach the zany genius of “Kung Fu Hustle”, but also doesn’t get into the zany shallowness of Shaolin Soccer.

  6. The Zero Theorem (2013): Oh Terry Gilliam.  If you close your eyes there are the specks of a decent movie here.  Unfortunately they were left as only absurd and stylish specks.

  7. The Martian (2015): More survivor story than science fiction, Damon commands enough presence for his portion alone on the Red Planet, with plenty of non-character spouting Science Fiction on Earth and in space.

  8. Inside Out (2015): Pixar came back swinging with this one.  A story that manages to show the good and the bad of every emotion, especially sadness and its lasting effect on memory. Neat!

  9. The Babadook (2014): This is a spooky movie!  Meditations on single-parenthood, grief, and madness all come crashing together in the story of an Australian Boogeyman.  Well plotted and well done.

  10. Spring Breakers (2012): This might just be my favorite film that I saw this year.  A Morality Tale, A Gang war story, a Selena Gomez vehicle. A nightmarish joy. Exhibit A:

    I rest my case.

RUNNERS UP, OR “I ALSO SAW THESE THIS YEAR”

  1. The Tenth Victim (1965):  Italian film about two sexy assassins in a murder TV game show who are hunting each other. An enjoyable romp, and always good to see Marcello Mastroianni.
  2. Sound of Noise (2010): A thin story, but interesting enough for a police procedural about anarchist musicians.  Mostly a vehicle for the Stomp-like music sequences, which are executed well.
  3. Berberian Sound Studio (2012): The sound-based horror I was looking for, with plenty of personal anxiety, feeling way over your head, and isolation. Also Toby Jones!  Fun for the whole family!
  4. Wet Hot American Summer (2001): A movie that is the sum of its parts, but it’s made up of some good parts.  Of the same caliber at least as “Airplane II: The Sequel”, if not “Hot Shots! Part Deux”.
  5. The Exterminating Angel (1962): Bunel’s best continues to be L’Age d’Or, however this is a wonderful film about rich people having silly, stupid problems.  A good conceit, and offering plenty of subtext without being too serious.

Spam 3: Spam Rising

I’ve been pretty lax about looking at Spam comments.  But now a few are starting to catch my eye again.  Let’s go back into the vault of that which should never be seen:

  • Balenciaga Outlet Florenceyou should not notice out of video since make up is among individuals locations should you like to spend some profit yet to be going out to restaurants is a waste material for example I can’t including paying my best funds now there this is law you do…
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  • You love it this particular video recording do be sure to please click that they like key down the page with remember to excuse reduced top quality the picture within my very own business office and even stop by
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  • “Buy Eggs Packed Full”
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  • solar thermal geothermal Growing Pains Season 1 DVD
  • “Canada Goose Outlet”. It’s not the strangest, unless you’re thinking about a power outlet in the shape of a Canadian goose.
  • For sale which is publicly golf iron sets
  • Ping G30 Driver and take care of them yourself
  • someone not in body who calls me because I can communicate on more than one frequency. My subconsious can communicate clearly with those in body and those not, but words are not the language used. (That was information I received in a different way and it a whole different story.).
  • golf [,] they desire a better country.
  • “religion steak”, I misread this one.
  • “hot bears must die”, I also misread this.
  • I tried to reach… your next… door neighbor for a… few weeks and he never… returned any of my messages.
  • From Shop Christian Louboutin bags: “the”
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SPAM II: The Spammoning

A New Year, and some new Spam.  It never stops, the Spam, it just keeps on coming like some sort of horrible train made not quite out of Spumoni and not quite out of Ham:

– “Fastidious answer back in return of this query with real arguments and explaining everything regarding that.”

– “Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said ‘You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.’ She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!”

– This from “Appliance Repair Valrico”: “Yes! Finally something about ssdfsdsf.”. I too have searched the weblogs long to find information on ssdfsdsf and have come up empty, that is why I try to write about ssdfsdsf any time I can. Happy to help, Valrico!

– “I need help, Hello World, Generisk Cialis Kop cialis”. You must be mistaken, I am not Hello World, though I have heard that I look like him.

– “An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit analysis on this. And he the truth is purchased me breakfast due to the fact I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I really feel strongly about it and enjoy reading even more on this topic. If achievable, as you turn out to be expertise, would you mind updating your blog with a lot more details? It truly is highly valuable for me. Large thumb up for this blog post!” I need to find these people who buy lunch/breakfast for reading my blog, because they’d probably buy me an entire restaurant for writing it.

– “One woman’s mission assignment-8:
One girl’s vision:
‘Pricey Ms. Roberts, i am certain a good keep director for Burlovergton layer manufacturer fortification David, Ind. I usually are not show how motivated my corporation is to choose this dress motivate an achievement. My goal is to have 3,000 apparel to help keep the entire family pleasant throughout the Ft. John,  Prezbindowski advised you in their movie’.
I had seize myself personally walking to my agency in addition to indicating, oh yea, it is abnormally cold out side. Following about the third day directly onto that it was just just one step pointing to myself implying, ya would, I’m not sure what icy is very much. I’m not sure what literally wicked cold might be. But there are lots of people on this system your the majority of engage in. So which had been my personal build. and that i preset a mission to arrive plan it also, Prezbindowski states that.
‘Ft. Wayne could be less location somewhere habitually lower income just isn’t detected onto all of my roadway, each displaced individuals more buried’, predicts Patty Nippy, ‘Pastor US president attached to Caris keep, the ladies and childrens category out of Ft. Wayne rescue Ministries.  Make are aware of June. in as they go along the understands that even if you are not on the road they could need a clothing properly they what are the personal requirements basic’, and she bought in which on the little to actually appropriate and go the extra mile, reveals crisp and clean.
Text message with regards to Prezbindowski’s grit passed on very quickly: much better 461 coats that were brought in to the range trash, your girlfriend’s hold received a full donation of 1,000 recently released coats throughout the weatherproof Corp. Considering 1,461 total wear, Prezbindowski designed a truck driver-stimulated plan to make more.
On what can have been the most important 80th birthday in Prezbindowski’s stepfar, this person start malbox to to collect coats 80 within the recognition.
‘And I am not returning to the property through which is produced’, Prezbindowski exclaimed as being the girl headed launched, ‘We in every case use to have enjoyment featuring the on your man’s birthday currently also Elvis Presley’s birthday and then he fell in love with which usually suggestion’, Prezbindowski pronounces. Fittingly, among the their prevalent Elvis songs had been ‘a lttle bit substantially less chat’ (And would definitely be a steps).
Prezbindowski’s first get rid of was already her own sister’s housing. Recently there her nieces endured pretty much handled 26 layers. About this next pause, they were pretty much waiting for her, far too. An additional number of women to Prezbindowski’s family skilled  got jackets 56 with each other to drive. Along with his or her third obstruct, it is exactly the same thing write-up, just that point the young woman established 132 clothes looking that are got.
One more forestall Prezbindowski available ended up being your girlfriend’s mum, who was gotten married to help you ron in 32 many,
‘Aloha Momma! We have already got 226 clothes’, Prezbindowski described, With a smile just as your ex moved up to your, ‘Very well one has 35 a lot more correct’.
The actual mom sent a reply, introduction Prezbindowski making use of large.  However be satisfied to consider this a number amigos met up to achieve, very happy birthday Ron. Through you in the present day, Prezbindowski shown as your girlfriend as the actual new mother hugged. Actually Prezbindowski has necessarily about 1,200 a good deal coats to get information.
‘I’ve inhibited this is my staff here at the workplace to get a fur, and i am buying an issue within the market in order to everybody in the Fort Wayne forum’, she says.
June did not have to do anything with the exception of her crucial job. She decide to put hobby and personal finances find layers. She became past the gist envisaged, and she or he performed somewhat more.
‘Heading greatly influence all how we live for a long time’, tells Frosty”.

– “More, these moveable versions tend to be far more responsible than coronary heart rate screens on treadmill rails”.

– This from the honestly named “Visit our Website”: “Nοw I am going away to ԁo my breakfаst, lаter than having my breakfаst coming аgain to read furtheг news”.

– Someone named “Damelin” is going to hold a “beauty parade” for all of the banks in order to help it with loans.  I hope this works.

– “This article is really wally, a friend gave me a look. I saw, I would like to express the feelings I looked. Others did not feel that I do not mind, at least now I convey myself….”. I’m not sure if “Wally” is the friend or a an adjective.

– This one is an interesting look into how Spam is put together. I’m not to going to include the whole thing (as it goes on for about a page), but here are some:
“{Wow|Whoa|Incrediblе|Αmazing}! This blog looκѕ {eхactly|јust} liκe my olԁ one! It’s on a {completely|entirely|totally} different {topic|subject} but it has pretty much the same {layout|page layout} and design {Excellent|Wonderful|Great|Outstanding|Superb} choice of colors!| {There is|There’s} {defіnatеly|сeгtаinly} {а lot to|a greаt dеal to} {knоw abοut|learn about|find out about} this {subject|topic|іssue}. ”
“Greetings from {Idaho|Сarοlina|Οhio|Ϲolorado|Floriԁa|Los angeles|Califοгnia}! ”
“{Hoωԁy|Hі thеre|Hеy there|Hеllо|Hey} ϳust wаntеd to give you а quiсk heads up. The {tеxt|woгds} in youг {content|post|artiсle} ѕeеm tο be runnіng off thе ѕcгeen in {Iе|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firеfox|Safarі|Opеra}.
І’m not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something to do with {web browser|internet browser|browser} compatibility but I {thought|figured} I’d post to lеt yοu know. The {style and design|ԁesіgn and ѕtуle|layout|ԁеsіgn} lοok great
thοugh! Hope уou get the {problem|іssue} {sοlved|rеsolved|fixed} sоon. {Kudos|Сhеers|Маny thankѕ|Thаnkѕ}”

– “Google is probably the most popular things out there in the Internet. Google dominates the field of serps.” Actually, Cats and cheeseburgers are the most popular things on the internet.

– “This is be cool 8) [ubikhead.com] limitations. Completes limitations. Completes inquisitive. limitations. Completes limitations. Completes”. Philip K. Dick’s future is here.

– I had no idea there were so many sunglasses: “Your own purchasing and sell you want to so also . You can also weather dark glasses moved using malaysia spectacles large new york from wholesale prices musician sun shades uk 8oz glasses intended for facial skin pattern glassesshop comprehensive glasses Ohio the country’s most suitable eye-glasses cups inexpensive shops cups caravan assist eyeglasses America wine glasses pictures gentlemen. As the their consistent materials expenses where to find discovering believe that them selves to select from while endanger minutes recognize how sleeve as well as a hat . Satisfied many of these the front .However your next sunglasses comprehensive arnette comprehensive famous label tinted glasses because of singapore spectacles or contact lenses approved eyeglasses for girl predict”

– “Beginner radio or ham can be hobby hobby”.

 

– “When thе hеro јoinеԁ the girl on the rοcκ he fell in love with her bеauty and lеаrned of her fаte. Тhe uρgrades to thе 9900 and іts opеrating system are likеly to offег nοt only mail through RIΜ’s own system, but, if you look closely at the applications that are available, you will likely find there is now an iOS-compatible mail application. One clinic director has estimated as many as 2.5 million Chinese suffer from the condition. Assuming you’ѵe dοne that, and now you reallу
need to wοrry about whісh collection iѕ best beyond ρurely conceptuаl rеasons. Lеt’s move on to point 2: children’s pandora jewelry high еnd jewelгy the right gifts our kidѕ have to Black.  So i wish you goοd luck аnd i hope іt all woгks out for you.
In ordеr to be yоgurt, theгe must be a mіnimum οf 10 mіlliοn live cultureѕ per gram οf substancе, says asѕociation ѕpoκeѕman Chuck Fuqua. The highest ρeгсentage of the nurѕing рopulation is found in hospitаls.”

– “For The Reader. He hangs out online, doesn’t message you and even ignores your messages if you instant message him. He’s also showing signs which he’s excited to meet your pals also — so make it happen soon.”

– “I appreciate your article.Your article is like a big tree, so that we can squat in your tree, feel yourself a real. I feel very touched, very empathy.”

– This one just about covers most Spam: “Is actually most likely which in turn determining to while you prior favorite , by today , these are generally expenses on structural , it is easy to weighty having good value interbank dark glasses synthetic version shades retail outlet affordable tinted glasses Chinese People glasses window frames for men how to pick goblets goblets events cups in abundance eyewear straps low cost colored glasses Asia to offer a inexpensive . Developing as an alternative louboutin heels. The normal offer you about . These kind of , craigslist and ebay satisfied superior rooting from would be the A group? If you are lower best place words and phrases.”

Happy New Year, and happy new Spam.

Henceblog Expose: Irony and Foxes

I hope to god that this has already spread through the internet like some sort of non-hazardous, non-Colorado Based wildfire.  It’s from the Swedish comedy band Ylvis, and it’s about foxes:

I was thinking about simply posting this video in one of my “Depths of the Internet” segments, but for now there’s something else I want to bring up in the first Henceblog Expose of the reboot.  To begin with, I greatly enjoy this song.  I was sitting in my room, shoving raw cookie dough into my face, thinking of WHY exactly I liked the song and one horrifying thought kept on spurting into my head: Is it because you think it’s cheeky and “ironic”.  The short answer is no, but I want to visit this idea of “irony” as our modern youth understand it.  To most young people wearing a “Thee Wolf Moon” shirt is ironic; going into a movie theater to watch Birdemic: Shock and Awe is ironic; the only way you can enjoy an 80’s hair ballad is through irony.

This form of “irony” (which isn’t irony at all, it’s not even a coincidence, it’s just an event that is happening which has nothing to do with any form of irony) which pervades the cultural consciousness it seems, is something where you’re trying to wink at how terrible something is.  You’re nudging the person next to you, screaming in their ears “It’s a cheesy shirt. Get it? AND I’M WEARING IT! RIGHT? ISN’T THAT HILARIOUS? DO YOU GET IT? I DON’T THINK YOU GET IT. WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING” . It’s meant to force everyone to think you’re a cool hep cat because you’re able to appropriate something terrible, and whereas this may not have started out as a bad thing it’s certainly become something of a blot upon us, a hideous black hole that has started to consume and destroy everything.

The problem with this form of “irony”, as I see it, is that it lacks any genuine concern or any genuine interest in the object or piece you’re trying to appropriate (and thus, it negates the very use of the term “appropriation”, because in order to appropriate something you have to understand and appreciate it) and instead becomes a new way of peacocking.  A person being “Ironic” here is attempting to draw the world to them, and they expect to do so simply because they exist.  It’s all about the show, it’s all about the person doing it, and therefore it all becomes about pride (hence why when you fail to encourage this type of behavior, you’re deemed as simply “not getting it”).

So is “The Fox” “ironic”?  No.  Not for me, at least, and I see it as falling into the same category as Flight of the Conchords do.

Sadly there may be a layer of “irony” in each of these pieces, however I don’t find them as steeped as plenty of other cool internet videos (I get the feeling a lot of the Gangam Style fad feel into this).  However, for me the enjoyment comes from a place of appreciating the joke and appreciating the genre.  Much like, say, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera these pieces aim not only to make fun of these genres or these people (which I also feel like has a lot to do with “irony”), but rather to show that they have respect for it while telling a joke with it.

So there, person who Stumbleuponed this article three years after it was relevant: I don’t have a problem, everyone else does.

From the Depths of the Internet: Bacon Pancakes

Technically it’s Bacon Pancakes superimposed on top of that New York song that was popular for a while.  Regardless, I’ve listened to this for about twenty minutes straight (and that’s only in this sitting) and I still can’t for the life of me figure out what the adventure dog is doing.  I also can’t figure out what comes after “New York”. Maybe you can after listening to the entire ten hours.  You’re welcome.

Bacon Pancakes x New York on YouTube

Tales from SPAM!

Like all webpages, I get plenty of Spam.  I believe I’ve already filtered out around 800 spam comments (despite only being up and running for a few months), and nearly 99% of all comments on The Great and Powerful Henceblog are Spam comments.  As such, every morning I go through my trash folder to make sure every comment is Spam and not an offer to give me 80,000 diamonds.  Here are some of my favorite Spams I’ve come across, some are direct quotes, some summaries, some reactions. Enjoy?

-Many people have offered their sincerest thanks as to my inclusion of my important thoughts and feelings on the now-defunct Terms of Use page.

-One Spam thought that I could really spice up my page layout by adding in some stock pictures from a funeral home.

-One simply told of a person who was trained in martial arts by David Carradine while simultaneously studying with the Marx Brothers and loving country music.

– “Sex Fuck Francais Cul”

-The middle-aged aunt said: “I this is not a clue? Is it right? Will give me to write a letter of praise what? ”

-Here’s a nice, long conspiracy spam poem:

“And this spake he because nervous stammer especially powerful, a few words say so loud, I heard worse, busy covering his mouth. Let him not excited, at the same time ears side reaction, but already late, there suddenly fell silent, apparently has been found near the same.
King Boss see my face uncertain, said to me: ‘You do these things, sooner or later, you and I said, I have some not know what in the bamboo slips, you know what? Summer to business history how long we all understand, why so long, do you know why? Because of the lack of historical records! My several bamboo slips, the Western Han Dynasty, as ancient scientists wrote, he said that summer to providers, there may well be a dynasty, but do not know why, no records, you see such an important thing in history, can be completely disappear, a strange nation disappeared again what’s strange?’ Then he patted me, so I don’t want to have a look, then, the amber resin cocoon is… what?
We carried the sun and go for about an hour, the day is getting dark, suddenly found in front of a rhizotomist wooden shack. The old itch pushed open the door and went inside, turned to me and said: ‘Look, here’s hearth, this evening we can eat hot’.
He said was true; I was listening to a heartbeat but, on second thought, he is armed with weapons.  What also to find me? It is not paved stalls let people to make money? There must be a conspiracy: they wander about heart is too deep, you look cool touts followed us here is a flatter face, find opportunity soon brought him turn from a guest into a host, we are not against, compared to them, we are really too tender, they find me, there must be something on purpose.
I think for a minute, don’t know why I feel not good. King Boss seemed to have a well-thought-out plan, the person familiar with all kinds of strange things, and he already knows what’s under, and are going to get. Think about the old itch said things to me, not by also can not be reconciled thus fell into his hands, one hand on the busy short handle knife, followed him slide down.
I lost the support, all the weight back to my hand suddenly did not catch on, straight fall more than one meter, hold a prominent bronze busy branches to stop body, looked up, he saw the monster ‘s face was completely broken apart into a small piece of a small piece of white debris, like Naipi same began to fall off.
I suddenly wake up, terrified look on his face, and said: ‘You mean, on top of the coffin chamber, once had a corpse? So long the coffin of banyan tree root, it cannot wanton growth?’
According to the principle, to see the statue’s face is not difficult, but we are up to look, no matter where you go, because of the angle of the relation is still not clear, my heart troubles for the statue of the ominous feeling more and more strong.
This time, causing the trouble head Zhang Qiling was deeply furrowed brow, he looks better than anyone: had seen carefully the ancient stone stone carving”.

This story was apparently meant to sell shoes.

-One spammer thought it apt to tell me about his great vest in the most perfect shade of bubblegum. It’s an “airy cropped pullover” that makes a laid-back look.

-I was finally noticed by the spam site “Bed Bug Symptoms”, which thanked me for writing about such valuable information.

-Jones Sabo the Police Policeman with Regard to the Hit told me that it’s time to make some plans for the future and be happy.

-A Christian shoes salesman was given a free lunch just for reading my blog.

-I’m pretty sure someone told me how to smuggle goods into Tokyo.  Apparently, it all depends on the shape of the seals you use in your forms.  The Tokyo government only looks at documents with a square shape (at least I think, this was all written in Japanese, so I’m depending on Google Translate to figure this out).

-This isn’t quite a haiku, but I feel like it’s the closest thing a Spammer comes to making poetry:

At best you are able to Twitter away
Being a songbird.  To plan an itinerary for this may
Well lead to late actions. Of these, the red ones are used in night hours as is also not afflicted with other rays
Of light within the surrounding areas.

– My location is valuable to someone? My location? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU SELLING BAGS?

– “Thank you so much for all of your kindness and great support! Please bear with me patiently as I’m trying my very best in getting caught up in featuring Each one of You INDIVIDUALLY along with your fabulous lenses. I also wish to include each one of you in my quizzes just like what I’ve done with other other Squid Angels above. Pardon me for being so behind in doing so. With all my heart, thank you very much for taking my quizzes! On behalf of all the JENNIFERS in Hollywood and all over the world, Thanks for staying fabulous just the way you are! God bless you all!!!”

– People have searched a long time to get the information in my Main Page, so mainly that this is The Great and Powerful Henceblog.

– One Spammer was very honest to point out that I’m really whiny and I could easily fix all of my problems if I weren’t so busy looking for attention. It really is good advice.

– This is a comment from “Hair Chalk”: “Great paintings! That is the type of information that should be shared around the net. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and discuss with my website . Thank you =)”.  You’re very Welcome, Hair, and it is a disgrace. I’ll certainly come over to discuss it at your website: Which looks to be literally about Hair chalk. That’s… you’re a strange one, Hair, a very strange one.  Although, you also apparently had troubles viewing pictures.  Hair Chalk: Are you a regular reader?

-Christian clothing is becoming more popular for “… boys that often have a touch of the demon in them”.  That… that is some news.