With Marvel and DC Comics dominating our airwaves, I’m sure we’re all a bit worried: What if we ever run out of comics to adapt, re-adapt, de-adapt, and dark reboot? What would happen to cinema and TV? Will we be launched into a dark age where we’re stuck only adapting, re-adapting, de-adapting, and dark rebooting paperback novels? NONSENSE!
Don’t worry, citizens of Earth, because I’ve included below a list of 100 Character, organizations, and other artifacts from comic book universes that are now free for anyone to adapt. Please. Go ahead, Marvel and DC, begin fighting over these character rights. I’ll be anxiously waiting by my phone.
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The Luminaut: Controller of light
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The Rulemaker, Manipulative and vengeful.
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Patrick Stonewall, P.I
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Mittens: The Super-strong
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The Blank Slate, bulletproof and unfeeling
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Mute: The Sound-eater.
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Uriel, rewarder and destroyer.
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Comm. William Tsang: Steven Seagal with an army.
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Siemen: The One with the Silicon Arm
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The Agromancer: Diviner of Grass and Weeds
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The Cockroach, able to multiply ad infinitum.
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Brightside: The Eternal Optimist.
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Oddball, bringer of chaos.
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Sturm: Bringer of irrationality.
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Drang: Revealer of fear.
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Monofilament: Casts invisible fishing lines.
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Catalyst, amplifying those around him.
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Gorbachev!: Mikhail Gorbachev in a cape and mask.
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Davy Weitz, showman and magician.
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C.L.O.W.N: Central Legislature for the Oligarchy of Western Nebraska
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Clay Mason: Able to conjure up animated beings of clay.
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Pulvis: Creator of Dust
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B.R.I.P, Bio-Robotic Information Processor; Human Brain robotic calculations.
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Flummox: She was hit in the head with a magical comet and now her power is to be really confusing.
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The Felimancer: They talk to cats. The cats probably understand, but they don’t always obey because they’re cats. Mostly, it’s just a person with a lot of cats. A whole lot of cats.
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T.E.R.N: Tactical Enforcement of Retro-Nihilism
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Derrick Matts: He has no powers of his own, but he knows exactly how everyone else should use their superpowers.
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The Caped Kennedy: A Kennedy who wears a JFK mask and a t-shirt that reads “Kiss me, I’m a Kennedy”. Oh, and they can also shoot lasers out of their eyes. To this day no one knows the true identity of the Caped Kennedy, nor are they sure if he’s even a Kennedy.
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Ignia, the fireball.
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The Corrugator: She creates cardboard boxes… WITH HER MIND.
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Breakdown, He will make you fail.
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G.E.C.K.O : Ghost Eating Canine Knights of Orlando.
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The Retina Ruiner: Able to telepathically make any living being confused about the color of the sun.
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The Gravy Image: A Golden gravy boat which gives the wielder the power to create and manipulate gravy.
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Ron Iver: Able to conjure anything he has an ironic t-shirt of.
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The Baker’s Dozen: An Evil team of 13 evil bread-themed villains out to destroy the world.
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Tantrum, if you don’t follow the make-believe game you are doomed.
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The Stare: Able to make situations really uncomfortable, really fast.
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Francis Gary Powers: He can transform into an airplane.
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The Candlestick Maker: They make candlesticks… WITH THEIR MIND.
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The Butcher: master of knives who’ll slice you up along all of your best cuts, and measure them out per pound in a matter of seconds.
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The Baker, Head of The Baker’s Dozen
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R.E.N.T: Realtors for the Enrichment of Non-urban Tenements.
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Bad-guette, the Baguette villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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Signal: They can control traffic lights… WITH THEIR MIND
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The Coin of Buffett: Replicates any currency to make you the richest person until all of this extra money destroys the economy (fun fact, it’s what happened in Greece!).
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Die-ye, The Rye bread villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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Dr. Hissinger: Henry Kissinger has snake powers!
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Rockhead: They have a rock for a head.
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The Third Degree: They sweat acid, and so they’re constantly suffering third degree chemical burns.
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The Crimson Restraining Order: They can teleport an object back 500 feet.
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Det. Nicholson: He knows everything about the DC Comics Universe. EVERYTHING.
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Pain-tzle Roll, The Pretzel villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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S.Q.U.A.R.E: Semi-Quintessential Union of Arch-nemeses, Rogues, and Enemies.
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The Aquatic Avenger: Shoots water out of their eyes, rides on the back of a whale, and carries a magical trident which gives them power over anything having to do with saltwater (including taffy!).
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The Dark Tarsier: He witnessed his parents shot when he was only a child, and since then decided to watch over the city taking on the guise of his greatest fear: The Tarsier.
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Gati Takkara, Destroyer of Suspension: They make speed bumps… WITH THEIR MIND.
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Ronald Ray-Gun: The Gipper turned in his cowboy hat for a space-laser. Now he protects the Economy with it.
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Kill-batta, The Ciabatta villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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The Omnipresent Duck: A Duck that is everywhere, throughout all times. The moment you turn to look at it, though, it is behind you while also being in front of you. It remains, however, a common duck.
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Punch-zki, The Paczki villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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Lady Lukewarm: Able to manipulate microwaves to slowly heat things over time.
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The Pudding: The Proof is in the Pudding, and they ARE the pudding.
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Ultra 64: Has 64 robots that carry out Ultra’s commands which he issues using an N64 controller (the joystick moves the robots, the D-pad changes the camera view, you press “A” to jump, “Z” does a barrel roll, etc.). The robots can come in 23 color variations, from Gray to Atomic Purple.
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Mr. Specific: He can create a concussive blast that can level a city by clapping so long as it is Tuesday past 3:34 pm and before 5:56pm, he can stand in the sun for 48 seconds (no more, no less), and it’s above 50 degrees Fahrenheit and below 82 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, seven seconds before he claps he has so say the words “Clappy Clappy clap-cap”.
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The Stereotypist: Able to reduce people to broad caricatures.
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Glower-dough, The Sourdough villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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Leonid Brrrrezhnev: An experiment gone awry in Siberia gave him ice powers.
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A.B.S.E.N.T : Agency for the Betterment of Solvency in the Event of New Threats
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Hello, My Name is: They make name-tags… WITH THEIR MIND.
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Hell-llah, The Challah villain of the Baker’s Dozen
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Captain Respirator: Creates a mighty gale with every exhale.
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Cruel-le, The Boule villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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Ore-gan Grinder: Can create large deposits of metals in the blink of an eye.
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Jackson: He can conform to female gender norms in the blink of an eye.
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Sophia: She can conform to male gender norms in the blink of an eye.
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The Wasfinder: He can make ten year old maps… WITH HIS MIND.
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James Carter, “The Defuser”: has the power of 1000 negotiators and can stop bombs with his mind.
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Woe-caccia, The Focaccia villain of The Baker’s Dozen.
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The Blue Bureaucrat: Able to manipulate paperwork, but don’t worry they use their powers… FOR GOOD!
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The Pearl of Galuth-Galahn: The Wielder of the Pearl is able to make smaller, plastic copies of the Pearl of Galuth-Galahn.
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James Smith: Able to conjure up anything he can think of, but unfortunately has a really terrible imagination.
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The Ginger-Blood Man, The Gingerbread villain of The Baker’s Dozen
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The Helmet of Iris: Give the wearer the ability to have really pleasant conversations.
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Red Tape: The arch-nemesis of the Blue Bureaucrat who uses his paperwork powers FOR EVIL.
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Umbrique: The Shadow-mover
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F.I.V.E : Four Introverted Vanquishers of Evil.
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Stallin’: He was a ruthless dictator, and now he can stop time.
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Crazed Doughnut, The Sweeter of the second-in-commands for The Baker’s Dozen
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Captain Sandwich: They can make sandwiches… WITH THEIR MIND.
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The Gauntlets of Mahortia: The wearer of the Gauntlets knows exactly what to do with their hands.
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The Uncomfortable Avenger: Able to make things slightly too hot for comfort.
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The Jacket: Able to make the surrounding area cold enough to make you wonder if you should have brought a jacket.
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Stick-man: Able to turn into a stick, but not able to turn out of a stick.
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Liderc: The Reincarnation of an ancient Hungarian demon-chicken that caused nightmares and illness in its time however was cursed to roam the Earth in numerous human forms until it can successfully move sand with a rope, or it can convince someone to throw a black chicken over the roof of a barn during the moment of the highest sun, or it successfully completes 5008 good deeds with the counter resetting after each bad deed it commits.
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The Boots of Kunado: These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they do.
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Burnt Toast, The more Savory of the second-in-commands for The Baker’s Dozen.
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Nikita “The Cruiser”: The Scarlet Speedster, not only is he super-fast but he’s also the premier of the Soviet Party.
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Shakespeare: He can make up words… WITH HIS MIND.
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The Listmaker: Can access any information or any power so long as it’s in list form.